What is going on out there?

So many things happening, financial markets collasping, Hurricane Ike and the like sweeping through, gas prices continue to climb and in the midst of all this....my mind weaves one word after another through my soul's intermost thoughts.

How can there be so much catastrophy yet so little impact on me right now? Why is my mind screaming with so many other things that no one else is noticing? Why don't I care that anyone notices? Why am I glad that others' are not affected?

This battle is not for anyone else, I tell myself....it is the journey I must walk alone. Not because I'm alone because I know there are so many holding me up but because the actual walk is mine alone. God and me. me and God. How wonderful that sounds but today, the sound is not so sweet because it is a difficult journey. It comes with alot of pain. It comes with sleeplessness, restlessness, pain and suffering. I do not despair. I do not feel sorry for myself. I just wonder how I can make this all go away? Is there something magical I say? A special prayer I pray? Didn't I ask for this when I prayed that I wanted purpose in my life? I prayed, "Lord, let me know without a doubt the direction I am to take." I think it is pretty obvious the route I am to take now.

My trust is ALL in GOD! I know the Power to make it through is all in HIM. However, I have to put each step behind HIS and follow.

The other day I mentally had to get myself out of the darkest woods. I was physically in a very bad place and mentally I was following....I visually took myself to a very dark forest. Most hunters, Girl Scouts, etc. can attest to a very dark, scary night when you realized there is only one person who has a lantern to see your way around. You very quickly realize that you must trust that person. If there is more than just you to follow, you must also listen and lean on the next person to get where you want to go.

I mentally put myself right on the leader (my case, it was Jesus) and closed my eyes because I knew all I could see on both sides was darkness. Many times, listening to someone who can direct you because they know where they are going is better than trying to look and figure it out for yourself. Yet, most time...we'll still try to do it ourselves.....

So, this is what I did....I mentally shut my eyes, put my hand on the leader because I knew he was leading with the only light out of the situation. I heard the crunch, crunch, crunch of the boots as He waded out of the woods and with each crunch, crunch, I put my foot where I heard HIS last footstep and kept following. The process of walking through the woods was several hours but in my mind, it didn't seem that long because I knew I was depending on the ScoutMaster who knew the woods inside and out...had been there before and really didn't need the light to lead but it was more to make me trust that HE knew what HE was doing. It was a Promise that he was going to protect me. I just had to believe, listen and follow.

We, as people or Christians find it very hard to follow. I know I find it hard many times because we think we have it figured out and leaning on someone else is going to take more time.

I've often thought of the person who is in the foxhole in the middle of a war all alone? Where is all that bravery? Where is all that strength when you can smell the breath of your enemy? As for me and my house, I want to serve the Lord and for him to be the Master and Leader of our Home. It is knowing the Master is in control is the reason that everything can be going wrong around us but we know who is holding the light leading us out and is going to take care of us.

So, what is going on out there? Nothing, nothing at all that God isn't already in control of. Praise him for your direction because this too shall pass and he will guide you! Just learn to listen...

I also want to thank those who still send cards, gifts, dinners.....I say it all the time but you can't even imagine how much it is appreciated....especially on days like today when it could have been easy to give up. Victory!!

Love to all,
Leah