Monday, September 8, 2008

Did you make a withdraw or deposit today?

There are many types of financial accounts we each possess: checking, savings, charge, 401Ks, IRAs, and other investment funds. We also possess an emotional fund. The accounts all work the same way. You either make deposits or withdraws and the accounts earn interest depending on investment factors such as average balances, investment vehicle, etc. Essentially the two most important transactions you make with these accounts are withdraws and deposits.

You always want to be making deposits and make as few withdraws as possible. This is how many obtain wealth. You put in a whole lot more than you take out, earn interest over time, invest for the long haul and always maintain the account with good standing. You don't immediately become wealthy or rich, unless of course you were born wealthy but it takes time and years of investment before you actually see the deposits you make grow over time.

It is the same with our emotional bank. The only way to make deposits is to say something nice to someone, do something nice, maintain good relationships, serve God and fill up on his on and so forth. I've always maintained that you are either a giver or taker in this world. You cannot be both. At times, depending on the circumstance, you might switch but 90% of the time, you are one or the other.

Many years ago, I was having this conversation with some others that I work with. It was a thought that most people don't really think about because we always want to think we are a giver. We were in a meeting that was called at the last minute so no one grabbed pencil and paper. We were told we didn't need anything with us, just come to the meeting. Lo and behold, once we were in the meeting, we realized we needed something to write with. I jumped up to get pens/pencils. Once I returned I realized that not all the pencils and pens were equal in what they had to offer. Some were worn, chewed, no eraser, the ink in some pens were all the way to the bottom, others were newer with ink all the way to the top. It was very interesting to present what I had to each person. There were the takers that instantly noticed the pen with the most ink and looked the least worn who grabbed the pen never thinking of others and then there were those who would say, "give me the pencil without the eraser, I know such and such likes to have an eraser" each person surveyed what was being offered handled it in such different ways. I mentally made note of each person and their personality and realized that each person actually made a decision on whether they were a giver and taker in most situations in their lives. Not just because of this one small instance but from many years of working with that group, they chose their pen/pencil based on their giver/taker personality.

I would often find those who would call me and sit for hours sharing their problems, day after day, night after night, (always making withdrawals) only to find that when you might have had a situation you wanted to share......they all of a sudden had something else to do that was more pressing or just couldn't find the 15 min. to listen to anything you had to I would begin to realize that my account was the only account being accessed for withdrawals for deposits into their account but they were not an account that I could ever count on for making a withdrawal. Accounts like these can become very taxing and over time, they will withdraw everything out of your account and move onto the next person (account) with no real concern for you. How many accounts or people do we have like this in our lives? We should have more accounts we can withdraw from should we need the account but also as freely deposit.

If we paid our bills from an account where we only withdrew and never made a deposit, pretty soon our utilities would be shut off and our house would go into foreclosure. Our lines of credit would no longer be sufficient to cover our liabilities. We might write a check but it would all be in action, we wouldn't have an account that would back our word. In our lives, if we make commitments, we have to have our line of credit (our word) to be sufficient to back our commitment. This is the way we earn trust and respect from other people and over time earn interest into our account.

Have you ever heard the expression, "he said he was going to do it and I believe him because he is always a man of his word" or how often do we hear, "he said he was going to do it but we'll see, he often bites off more than he can chew and doesn't also finish what he says he is going to do".....which of those would I rather be? Which of those, AM I?

Every day I want to be a person that makes deposits in other's accounts. I want to encourage, listen and be a friend that someone can turn to where I give good Godly wisdom, or share some nugget of inspiration, or provide help with something someone else may be struggling with but at the same time, I want others in my life that from time to time....allow me to make a lend a listening ear, to be there if I need someone. I still find it much easier to be the one to make the deposit vs. the withdraw.

There are so many who have been making these deposits into our accounts with cards, flowers, gifts, dinners, etc. that my bank account has just continued to fill over the brim. Our Heavenly Father must be so joyful at the sight of the hands and feet that are showing his Love and Compassion through so many deeds. I, as in real life, do not like to make withdraws....I really enjoy the deposits I can make to other's accounts. I don't want to be stretched out on credit but I want to be making deposits into accounts that over time draw an interest to God.

This is the way God made each one of us. We all go about it in different ways. Hopefully, we all do it at all. I have had those in my life that I eventually find to be toxic. They withdraw so much and leave you so empty and spent that you realize that you must close that account and actually find another account that works the way it was designed. It is a very hard thing to do. We have to perserve our own accounts. We need to make sure we do not allow others to overdraw our accounts where our account no longer has the ability to make deposits. We can become so stretched and overdrawn after years of abuse on our account that you are constantly trying to pay off the debt that was racked up for someone else. There may be short spurts of time where your account is being used alot but we must still monitor and make sure we don't become burned out and overdrawn.

Yesterday my Aunt and Uncle surprised me and came over and took me and Kimberly out for lunch. They ended up staying throughout the evening. They were making huge deposits into my account knowing tomorrow, I will be back for more chemo. They just wanted to visit before they had to go back to Indiana. It was such a joyful time. The day went so fast before we knew it, it was dark and almost bed time. These are the type of relationships we need in our lives. They make you forget everything else. Thank you for a great day, Uncle Steve and Aunt Jo!

While we were visiting, dinner was brought to us. I don't want to start naming names only because so many have done so many things for us, I'm afraid I might miss a name. I remember each and every person but typing this out might miss someone and would not want to hurt anyone. Dinner was so good. We have enjoyed every dinner shared with us!!!!

However, as I already stated, unfortunately many are making deposits into our account. Many are giving freely of their accounts. I do not do very well when others are dipping into their accounts and giving to mine. I've always wanted to be the giver (by the way, I took the most beaten up pencil in the meeting) because it is hard for me to take from others. God has really put me into a position of humility. I know I have to allow others to give. It is probably one of the hardest lessons of this journey, I've had to learn. However, if this was the lesson I was supposed to get from all this....okay, Lord, I get can we forget this and move on? ha.

Every day my blog is a brain dump for me. It is my time in the morning to meet with the Lord and a word he has given to me to get through my day. Thank you for the comments. I'm so glad that the Word that God gives me to get through my day, helps others too!

P.S. I will be at Emory all day tomorrow. By the time we start off with blood work, doctor's visit and then onto Chemo....we are gone all day so....if you should call, etc. we will not be home. I am going to Praise God right now for protecting me yet again as I go this round. I stay on an infusion pump until Friday so my chemo lasts 3 days. Please pray that there will be no side effects!!

Also, they have scheduled me for an MRI to view my spine and a breast ultrasound to check the 2 masses on 9/17 so please be praying for my Victory on those days!

As always, thank you for all the deposits you are making into our lives! I look forward to the day I can again make more deposits for those who care to listen or notice. It really is a joy to do for others! "-)

This posted as Monday night, it is actually 5:45 am. Tuesday so my comments are meant to be for Tuesday, Sept. 9 not Monday, Sept. 8th. (referring to my chemo treatment...tomorrow means Wednesday, Sept. 10th).


#1Fan said...

Leah, good afternoon. My wish and my prayer for you is that Wednesday's treatment be easier than the last one and that the next one be easier than this one. Just know that this chemo is helping even though it may hurt and cause you to feel bad. I'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow and will be sending sincere prayers for your angel to go with you. You will never be alone.

Tammy said...

OK Leah. I can’t stand it anymore. I’ve got to blog. I’ve never blogged before, so you are my first. I wrote a big long blog and thought I sent it, but then it didn’t show up. I don’t know what happened, so now I’ve got to re-create what I said. Oh yea, it’s Tammy Taylor, your old co-worker from years ago at Freddie Mac who knew you when you were just a little whipper-snapper in your early 20’s. When I think back about you, I see you smiling and blushing and talking about Steve - “Steve” this and “Steve” that. I know I did the same with my Chris.

And, speaking of Chris, we’ve been together now for 22 years. That’s 17 years after the doctors said he wouldn’t live. For those of you who don’t know me, my husband was driving a truck hauling paint thinner in 1991 and was hit by a train. He was severely burned over 80% of his body. He suffered through 19 operations, 50 blood transfusions, and 3 months on complete life support in an induced coma. With the help and prayers of many friends (especially at Freddie Mac) and a whole lot of love from me, he amazed all of us. I know that you will do the same, and I know that Steve will be by your side all the way.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with life’s twists and turns. I think this blog is a great way to let out your feelings and to help others who may be going through similar situations. When Chris was in the hospital, I wrote in a journal every day - all about what was going on at the hospital, my thoughts, my fears, my prayers. I guess it was an old-fashioned blog - except I was the only one reading it. The entire ordeal was like a roller coaster ride. Since I couldn’t communicate with Chris for 3 months, I wrote it “to” him. For some odd reason, he has never wanted to read it. I don’t know if it’s just too painful for him now or if he doesn’t want to know just how freaked out I was at the time.

Good luck with your chemo tomorrow. My uncle, who’s 80, just graduated from chemo, and he is now cured of his cancer. The doctors and nurses gave him a little graduation ceremony and certificate. He said for him, the first round of chemo was the worse, and it was a piece of cake after that. I hope it will be that way for you too.

Please let me know if I can do anything. I still live on your side of town. If you ever want to talk just call me - Mickey has my phone #. I love all the pics on your blog. You have a beautiful family. Keep blogging, we’re listening.

Anonymous said...

As always, my thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. Love Vickie

mother said...

Today is Wednesday 4:00 a.m.
Honey I am praying for your help and strenght today as you go to your treatment.
love, mother

Mike said...


Great post!!!! So true...I'm praying for you, and speaking of depositing into your account, I have to make a trip out there =)