Friday, September 19, 2008

and the answer is......"I don't know"

Yesterday I went to Emory for my ultrasound 1) to view 2 masses in my right breast 2) the ultrasound would provide better pictures and my port was in the way to do anything else.

After I got there and waited forever (they always make a big deal on the phone about being 15-30 min. early but always call you back over an hr. past your scheduled time) they asked me why I was having an ultrasound vs. a mammogram. I explained the reasons the doctor gave and they said the pictures would be better with a mammogram. I told them I didn't care, I just wanted the test and wanted out. They told me that if they did an ultrasound, it would take 2 hrs. and most likely wouldn't show anything we were looking for....I said, "do what you feel is best, I don't really know".

They did the mammogram. The tech doing them said she thought the pictures looked "fine" and that the lumps were probably okay but not to be surprised if they didn't call me back. They found another lump on the left side that might not be fine and they would have to do an ultrasound in order to determine if it was okay or not??? What? I just thought you said the ultrasound doesn't give as good as pictures and now she was telling me, it is more detailed and would use it to clear up any issues. She assumed they would call me back in to do more.....what???? I'm confused....

Once I told Steve as we were leaving, he said, "why don't they just continue to do whatever they need while you are here" for me and all the stacks of ladies piled up in the back waiting for our name to be called....I just wanted to move out of the madness....and let a doctor sort out what I should be doing....but most importantly and what I fail to hear anymore, "your done, nothing to worry about, go home!" Does this exist anymore? I just feel more frustrated.

I still have MRIs I'm scheduled for to view 2 different sections of my spine. I wonder if I go in and they change that test too...I'm looking for the day that I don't recognize people as I walk into the hospital....the volunteers at the front desk don't greet you like a familiar face and I look lost getting my way around. I don't want to be on the elevator directing other people to the right floor! UGH!

So the answer to the answer is, we still don't know our results.

Back to chemo this week...hard to believe....I guess I haven't had the up days like the last time so I haven't had time in between to build myself back up. Please pray for the few remainder days to be good days because it sure helps going in.

As always, love to all for your constant comfort in this journey.


Anonymous said...

Oh Leah, I am so sorry that these hospital visits are so confusing and unsettling right now, you certainly don't need that! Our health care teams are not what they use to be. I know that from taking my Dad back and forth these last few weeks for shoulder surgery! Nobody seems to know what to do anymore, and those that do know don't seem to want to do it. And I guess that when it is you, things seem really big! (At least that's what my Dad told me) Keep trusting and we'll keep praying, that's all I can say right now. Know that you are so loved and thought about and prayed for. Love, Vernie

Mother said...


I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
And I don't borrow from its sunshine
'Cause the skies might turn to grey.
And I don't worry about the future,
'Cause I know what Jesus said,
And today I'm gonna walk right beside him
'Cause he's the one who knows what is ahead.
There are things about tomorrow
That I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

And each step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb.
And every burden is getting lighter
And all the clouds are silver lined.
And, over there the sun is always shining
And no tears will ever dim the eye
And the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

There are many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.
Yes I know who holds my hand.

this is a old song that my Aunt use to sing when I was a little girl. you may not know the song, but you can listen to it on You Tube. I love the words to the song.

Honey this fight it not ours... we must continue to hold His hand to come out of the forest with Victory.
This has been a rough week. I pray the next few days will be good for you before you go back to your next Wednesday chemo treatment.

Anonymous said...

I want you to take out your Bible and read Acts 16: 16-40, specifically verse 25 and it tells you How to Sing through your Midnight Hour. Prayer and Praise! God's attention is caught by praise from his people. Praise him for everything, both the good things and the bad things. Because his activity in our lives help bring others to know him. Nothing can come to you unless it comes through God first. I know it is easier said than done when you are going through the bad side effects of your treatment. I will continue in prayer and praise him on your behalf. Jeannie Swan

Anonymous said...

Hey Leah,
Still thinking about you and praying for your recovering. wes

Donna said...

Jesus, I come to You on the behalf of my sister & your child, Leah Boyd. We know that Your Grace is sufficient for her needs this day. I ask You to give her strength & lift her up. Let her feel that touch that only You can give. Let healing flow through her body in Jesus Name!

I thank You for being our ever present help in the time of need. It is such a wonderful blessing to know you in the beautiful power of the Holy Ghost and to be able to trust You in all situations. You are an awesome God. Thank You for hearing our prayers on Leah's behalf. In Jesus Name! Amen.

Anonymous said...

Just to let you know we are thinking about you and you are always in our prayers.
prayers are going up day and night from your friends in Decatur.
We Love you!