and the answer is......"I don't know"

Yesterday I went to Emory for my ultrasound 1) to view 2 masses in my right breast 2) the ultrasound would provide better pictures and my port was in the way to do anything else.

After I got there and waited forever (they always make a big deal on the phone about being 15-30 min. early but always call you back over an hr. past your scheduled time) they asked me why I was having an ultrasound vs. a mammogram. I explained the reasons the doctor gave and they said the pictures would be better with a mammogram. I told them I didn't care, I just wanted the test and wanted out. They told me that if they did an ultrasound, it would take 2 hrs. and most likely wouldn't show anything we were looking for....I said, "do what you feel is best, I don't really know".

They did the mammogram. The tech doing them said she thought the pictures looked "fine" and that the lumps were probably okay but not to be surprised if they didn't call me back. They found another lump on the left side that might not be fine and they would have to do an ultrasound in order to determine if it was okay or not??? What? I just thought you said the ultrasound doesn't give as good as pictures and now she was telling me, it is more detailed and would use it to clear up any issues. She assumed they would call me back in to do more.....what???? I'm confused....

Once I told Steve as we were leaving, he said, "why don't they just continue to do whatever they need while you are here"....as for me and all the stacks of ladies piled up in the back waiting for our name to be called....I just wanted to move out of the madness....and let a doctor sort out what I should be doing....but most importantly and what I fail to hear anymore, "your done, nothing to worry about, go home!" Does this exist anymore? I just feel more frustrated.

I still have MRIs I'm scheduled for to view 2 different sections of my spine. I wonder if I go in and they change that test too...I'm looking for the day that I don't recognize people as I walk into the hospital....the volunteers at the front desk don't greet you like a familiar face and I look lost getting my way around. I don't want to be on the elevator directing other people to the right floor! UGH!

So the answer to the answer is, we still don't know our results.

Back to chemo this week...hard to believe....I guess I haven't had the up days like the last time so I haven't had time in between to build myself back up. Please pray for the few remainder days to be good days because it sure helps going in.

As always, love to all for your constant comfort in this journey.
Leah