Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wow, cancer has no preferences, does it?

I happened to find a friend that I've not talked to in 25 yrs. from Indiana. I was checking my blog comments and for whatever reason decided to search for Pastors in Indiana. For those that don't know, that is where I was raised but moved here when I was 15.

I found my uncle and decided to search more....not sure why but I came across the website of the church my grandfather started many, many years ago. I saw an old friend and got her married last name and did a google search. I found her number and decided to call.

She was as happy to hear from me, as I was her. We shared the losses we've had....most recently her mother from ovarian cancer.

She went on to tell me that a guy that was my cousin's best friend has throat cancer and is not expected to make it. He has 2 small children and I think is actually younger than I he is in his early 30s. He has been serving God for years!!

She also told me about a friend that we've had for years that has breast cancer and has just gone through a double mascteomy (sp). She is getting ready to start chemo. She left the church a few years ago and is raising two children on her own. Oh my Lord, I can't believe it.

I got an e-mail today about a child that just died from cancer. I do not know this person and I wish I didn't know about it.

However, this all makes me realize how easy I have it compared to so many! My 180 days laying on the couch is nothing compared to so many. Oh my, my heart has been heavy all night just thinking about what they are going through or are going to go through. There is not a nicer word to use than chemo is hell on earth but thank the Lord, we have options and have the medicine.

Each of my chemo treatments are $40,000 so when this is all over, my body will be worth over a half million dollars. I was telling my friend how I get whatever I need at the hospital because they consider us rich! Do you know why? We both have insurance. No matter how much it pays, they know they are going to get something so they just tell me to name what I need....because it will be taken care of.....well, according to bills, I'm not so sure about that but that is how the medical field determines what they give you.

I think yeah for me.....maybe it won't be too bad but what about so many who don't have insurance at all? It makes me very sad to think that others may suffer needlessly. I don't know what I would have done without the pain meds, etc. It gets so bad, sometimes I just sit and cry. I hate when I do that but typically it is because I'm trying not to take so much pain medicine and I will let it build up for hours. So, it is my own fault, I guess.....but thank the Lord.

Oh, I just feel for those about to go through chemo. No one can really know what you go through. I try so hard to keep things to a minimum because I don't want my family to suffer but you really do suffer. The Lord sustains your spirit and the chemo just wracks your body with so much pain.....there are no words to describe.

Please keep these people in your prayers. The Lord is willing and able to do all we ask and I know that God will give them mercy and grace just like he has me. Believe me, it is a very long, long road....undescribable! It is just you and the Lord! Even a few treatments is month's long.

As always, thank you for my comments. I don't deserve any of the nice things said about me. It is all through God's grace, mercy and power that I've made it this far. I plan to make it the rest of my God-given life, which I believe is a very long time!!! God's grace is sufficient for all.

Love in Christ and love to all,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Leah. There are indeed many, many people fighting this battle along with you, my cousin did and won. Some people don't make it, it's not in our hands to decide who or when, but we pray and try to live so that we will see Jesus when our time on earth is over. There is a lady in my Sunday School class that will be undergoing chemo after Christmas and my heart goes out to her because she is already so fragile. How can she take the pain? But we are praying for her strength, and we are already claiming victory over this ugly, awful, dreadful thing called cancer. I am glad you were able to find so many friends from your old home-place, that is neat! Your circle of friends is growing leaps and bounds girl, and that is good because that means the party you will have when you heal from this is gonna be huge! Gotta run now, bath and hair time for grandbaby! Love, Vernie