Thursday, December 4, 2008

Okay...maybe I shouldn't be so happy but I am!

I've already had 350 hours of chemo and getting an extra week to recover, I just can't help it. I know I heard from those off-line that I shouldn't be so happy because of the wreck my body is in but I am......"-)

I'm not ever giving up or giving in, I'm just taking a little break. Everyone needs a break, huh?

Imagine getting hooked up to your chest and trying to sleep hooked up to this heavy bag, wake up in the middle of the night groggy and want to go to the bathroom and forget you are hooked up to your chest. It hurts when you move and your chemo lines hanging out of your chest don't move. After you have 50 hrs. of this stuff, you are in excruciating pain and all the awful chemo symptons kick in.....not a joy ride, I can tell you but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm getting giddy about getting this over and moving onto the next chapter of my life.

I'm 39 and will turn 40 in March. My chemo ends the first of February. I've had those ask if I was worried about turning 40.....it makes me laugh, I am a cancer patient, do you honestly think I'm worried?...I'm elated to see another year. I'm not at all worried about the number, I am just ready to live life each and every day to the fullest. If my day is on the couch...well, I'm going to have the best snoozes of my life! ha. However, I hope to have more time doing things that glorify Christ, help others and have some normalcy. Going to the hospital all the time is not normal.

We are having our large Christmas dinner at the church this Saturday. All are welcome. We will have our Christmas program the 2nd week of December and for those who love the singing from our choir would be amazed at the programs we have! Anyway, I didn't think it was possible for us to attend the Christmas dinner this week since I would be on chemo....well, as it works out....yes we are...although I must admit that I would love to watch the SCC Championship football game this Saturday as well. Yes, I'm a football fan. It is what Steve and I love to do. Since I've been sick, all I've done is watch football with Steve. I'm usually dozing in and out but I do love it. So, having said all that...I would always choose a church function over football so off to a beautiful Christmas dinner and entertainment.

Oh how I love the holidays. Every night before I go to bed, I like to have a fire going, lights turned down, all the Christmas lights lit up, Christmas music playing and hot tea or hot chocolate in a special cup I use....it is just heaven for me. This time of year is so beautiful and joyful that it has a weird way of comforting the weary ridden soul. :-)

So, I rattled on enough today. Make today a great day. Every day is a day that we have life that can be used to speak a kind word, help someone or just to appreciate our families. No day is wasted in the sight of God, it is only wasted if we allow ourselves to make the lesser priorities get us down. As always, I pray for all of you who pray for me and pray that blessings are bountiful, sickness/pain is removed from those who also struggle (this isn't just about me), and for those that are less fortunate this holiday season. May everyone have a peaceful day, no matter what you are doing.

Make it a great day!
Love to all,
Leah

No comments: