Sunday, December 7, 2008

If I had to die, I would die living! :-)

Last night we went to our Christmas party where there was probably 450 people or so. Steve was concerned about me going and being around people because my counts are so low. They even wanted me to wear a mask!! NO, no, no!! Until I have to wear that thing all the time, I am not going to do it! I told Steve, "if I am going to die, I'm going to die can't keep me holed up at home!" He is such a good caretaker, I know he is just trying to look out for me but I'm too much of a people person.....let me out of my cave!! ha.

I was just so excited to be out of the house, enjoying the season with everyone else! I love this time of the year so much (except for the cold). Since I've had this break, I can even taste food a little bit now so of course, I've been able to eat more vs. a couple of spoon fulls. I hope that my counts are up, my protein and iron has increased and I don't have to have the expensive and very excruciating shot!!! Please pray that I don't need this shot or have to have a blood transfusion. I realize if my counts are low and I don't have the shot that I will be very very sick but I still don't want the makes your bones ache, ache, ache for days!! I don't want to go through that with the holidays upon us!

I have been so excited just being able to get out and letting my body get more revved up with the break!! I can't help it....I'm just so happy! The Lord has been so good to us through all the prayers that are going up for us. :-) Thank you so I always say and mean, you don't know how much it means to the family.

I was also able to go to church today. The sermon was how God sees and knows everything we are doing and what we need. He knows what we need before we ask. He used the illustration of the GPS systems that are used to track people within 30 feet, can be programmed to notify you if the person with the GPS exceeds certain speed limits, etc. He mentioned that this would be a great gift for parents with teenagers. He first asked the teenagers if they wanted a GPS and then as he told about the tracking devices, asked the teenagers again if they were interested in having a GPS like that. Very few hands were raised. ha. However, it is very comforting to know that the Lord sees and knows all our needs and cares without us ever muttering a word. I'm thankful for that type of relationship. Anyone who wouldn't want that....well, you have look inside your heart and figure out what you are hiding.

The days have been so wonderful. I only have 2 days left before I'm headed to chemo again. I hope that I can maintain my energy levels because I'm going to get things done!! I've wrapped alot of my gifts and have helped others wrap theirs. The funny thing is that I've never enjoyed the wrapping, however I do enjoy the shopping. This year, I turned up my Christmas music, turned the lights on the tree, had my peppermint tea (which I drink daily) and just enjoyed the fact that we were able to afford gifts and have something to wrap. So many this year will not be able to enjoy Christmas as they have in the past....but Christmas is not about what is under our tree is too commerialized. We have forgotten about the true meaning. Through our hardships we are better able to understand the true meaning of Jesus' life and benefits, our family, our health and ourselves. God has given us abilities to do things we've never tried because we are the hamster on the wheel of life...too busy to take time for what is really important or too busy to get off the wheel.

Okay, so much for my rambling....I'm just thankful for the Lord, this beautiful holiday season, my family, friends, co-workers, those that I don't know that encourage and pray for makes me pray that there is truly, "Joy to the world"

As always, love to all,


Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you are happy. I am also glad that you have had a chance (even with the low counts) to give your body a rest. Remember that it is not a big deal to wear a mask. I feel like wearing a mask and gloves sometimes because of all of the germs this time of year. lol! If you are willing to wear your mask, Steve might take you out more.

I send my prayers for Wednesday. After Wednesday, you said that you are free until after Christmas, so get your levels up to enjoy it.
You can do it; stay strong!! Remember, you only have 4 more treatments after this one.

With many prayers,


Sharon said...


I very much enjoyed you allowing me to share this very special time in your life. Even with all that we can and can't imagine you are going through, you remain such an inspiration and hope to others. As I said last night, we can only thank God for the door that was opened for ministry for you. Do you realize you became an evangelist overnight! : ) How awesome is that. Through your blog, you will reach people you may never see, but as you commented, God sees. I have to tell you it brought tears to my eyes when I read the title of your entry on 12/7. Also, thank you for my blue bracelet. I will be wearing it daily as a reminder that I need to be touching heaven for you. I will be praying that tomorrow when you wake up that Jesus will lift you on His shoulders and carry you through another day of chemo. As time stands still for you know that many voices will be reaching heaven on your behalf. May He comfort you with the strong arms of a father. God bless.

Anonymous said...

hey look great in hats...whoo hoo...arent you glad? You looked like Jackie O on Sunday...and that is fashionable. Love ya nd was so good seeing you. Cassie