Saturday, January 24, 2009

The devil sees my future and he won't let me go!

I truly believe that as I've rounded the curve that the devil is mad because he hasn't gotten any victory through this journey and that he is doing everything he can to make it twice as hard on me.

I've had this unbelievable pain in my chest. It feels like I swallowed a pitchfork and the pitchfork is sideways in my chest. It hurts to eat or drink. The pain is totally unbearable.

Emory sent us to the ER and they thought it might an erosion of my esphogus. Well, it has continued to hurt with all the pains meds and medicine they put me on. Let me tell you, they put me on the granddaddy of all pain meds. It worked in my IV but didn't work at again, I was in more pain than my body could tolerate.

I've continued with the pain and started running fever. My body temperature usually stays around 97.5 but it went up to 101, which is high for me. Emory wanted me to go to the ER again because of the pain and have a scope run down my throat. Well.....first of all, the scope idea I could have done without but they won't continue my chemo unless I get it done. The sorry part about it is that they want me to go to another hospital's ER because they can't get me in. It is a vicious cycle.

I've not gone back to the ER yet. Last night we were in a delimna around midnight whether we should go to the ER that late and just get it all over with. It was cold outside and in the Cobb Wellstar ER you are sitting right in fron of the doors. We decided to give me the pain meds and see if my fever would break. It did finally break about 4 a.m........but (you always know this is the good part) the pain in my chest, which feels like a pitchfork has not gone away.

I still can't eat or drink with it without unbelievable pain. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with my port-a-catheter. The line to my artery goes to the same area. The hospital did a chest x-ray and a CT scan and didn't say anything so we are thinking it isn't that. Emory said they haven't had anyone with this sort of pain so they are shooting in the dark, therefore they want me to have the scope. For some reason, going to a hospital that I really don't like with ER people who don't know you and having a scope run down your throat somehow just doesn't get it for me!! As I always say, I'm not afraid of the outcome, I just hate the process!

However, I want the pain to go away too so I know we have to do something, as this is my chemo week....Yeah for me....then I will only 1 treatment to go. I feel like we are on the first one trying to figure out what meds to take for what sympton, etc. It is very frustrating!!!

I have to believe that Satan thinks he has our back against the wall and we are going to cower down! I guess he doesn't know me or the ARMY of people that are praying for me and that this will only challenge me to pray more and therefore he is useless.

Mom, Dad, the girls and Tim all prayed for me the other night when my fever kept going up and I began to feel really bad. I know God was watching over me because 2 nights in a row, I woke up and was sweating through my clothes. Everyone knows how cold blooded I am. Well, I knew that my fever had broken. It keeps trying to creep up but I'm taking pain meds so it gets back under control but I know it is an indicator of some sort of infection. I really don't have a primary doctor in my area, which I need to get because I could call them and ask them questions about sickness, etc. Any suggestions from anyone in the area, let me know.

So tonight my prayer request is that I keep my fever under control and the pain in my chest goes away so I don't have to go to the ER to have a scope run down my throat. The thought of more than I want to think of. I know to some it will sound minor, however for me, it is major....I have to mentally wrap my brain around another procedure....especially being soooooo claustrophobic.

Other than that, I continued to enjoy my time in my chair. My parents came and visited. Mom stayed 2 days because she thought we might be going to the hospital. My sister came and warmed some soup up for me. My bro and sis-in-law fixed us a pot roast. :-) Such are the days....however, I choose life! I was teasing my sister in law and told her that the doctor's prognosis was that I had eaten too much pot roast. ha. She knows I could eat very little but it was still funny.

Hopefully I have the strength to make it to Sunday school in the morning . :-0 If not, God will nourish us through the DVDs of every service made by our awesome video team.

Well, I just took more pain medicine and my dog is spread out in my chair. I need to go and get settled before I start drifting away.....wahoo! I will celebrate the day I don't have to take anything


Anonymous said...

Good morning. As I prepare for to attend Church at Liberty Baptist in Fayetteville, I want you to know your name will be lifted in prayer among our congregation. Yes, the devil is busy, but so are we! Stay strong Leah, as best you can. I cannot imagine how hard this must be, I have seen cancer and chemo with some of my very close family members. Hold on to all those around you, and all of us out here will just stay on our knees. One more to go, wow! Like playing in a baseball game, running the home stretch, just passed 3rd base, see the home plate but tired, been running so long, but all those people cheering out there, gotta make it! Can you say "WINNER"!!!

Love, Vernie

Anonymous said...

I may not always know what to say when I see you at church, but please know that I lift you and your family in my prayers daily. You are going to win this Race and be a testimony to all going through the same. We serve a BIG God who is still our healer!
Love, Kim