Today I woke up not feeling well...but everyday is like that...so I got up and got dressed for church. I receive the most encouragement from going to church. I don't arrive early to service because being around people makes me nervous since both my surgeries. I'm worried someone is going to fall into me or grab and hug me and physically I'm not up to that yet. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either. The doctor told me that I could not even be around a runny nose as soon as I start chemo this week....so this might have been my last Sunday for awhile....time will tell. :-(
I've received unbelievable love, support, prayers, visits, cards, flowers, gifts, etc. from family, friends, co-workers that I could not ever begin to mention everyone's name. Although physically I'm still not quite well, mentally I grow stronger and stronger. It is to all who read this blog that have gone out of your way in some small or big way that has made this journey bearable.
In your prayers, please also pray for my grandma. She was recently diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and has to have chemo and radiation. I will be at Emory on Wednesdays for Chemo and she will be there on Tuesdays. She has a much shorter duration than I so we couldn't coordinate schedules. Ugh! What is up with this ugly thing, "Cancer?"
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4 comments:
Well, I read every word - your faith in God shows through and through. With Prayer and the Dr's help you will get through this. I am so proud of you - and you are stil in my prayers - we are here for you - In Christian Faith - Stacie
Leah, I'm so glad you have decided to do a blog to help communicate with all those who care about you. I guess it sure beats telling the same anecdote forty times over! Now, if we can all just remember the web address. (-: You mentioned feeling guilty in one of your posts. I'm sure none of the people who "do stuff" for you would want you to feel that way. Maybe we all know that it could be us in your situation. We also know you didn't ask for it. Most importantly, the body of Christ is hurting with you, and as we minister to you we comfort one another. I'm praying for you and Steve today. Love, Ellie N.
Dear Leah,
Never in my wildest dreams would I think that we would be going on this journey. Parents are not supposed to face these kinds of illnesses with their children. I wake up every morning wondering again if this is really true. Our plans were to fulfill a life long dream of your 90 year old grandfather, and take him to the Redwood Forest in California. But somehow in planning the journey there was a detour, and the detour took us to the biggest trial of our lives as we arrived at the Winship Cancer Center.
As a newborn your life began with a struggle. The doctor thought you were stillborn. There were tense minutes in the delivery room as you lay lifeless without breathing. I had a praying mother in the waiting room who was praying for a miracle, and it happened. Our blue eyed, blonde hair baby finally took her first breath and lived without any brain damage. A miracle indeed!! Now 39 years later we are praying again for a miracle.
At your baby dedication I made a commitment before the Lord to submit you to God’s will and to raise you according to God's Word and God's ways. I gave you back to the Lord that day, and I realize that I must leave you there in his care. He has kept you the last 39 years and I know that he will continue to keep you in his care.
"As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 1:26-28
But I know I must be strong, and get up and fight with you.
It takes courage to get through life. I have seen your courage rise to the occasion. The courage to fight with everything you have, not just to cheat death, but to live.
Why you ? That's the obvious question. That's the question that, sooner or later, everyone who gets cancer asks. But there's no answer. Oh, I know some of the medical reasons: a family history, genetic predisposition and all that. But that's not really what that question is asking.
Anger and why me is the reaction most people expect. But who, or what, can you be angry at? I guess you could go outside and shake your fist at the universe, but really, aside from scaring the neighbors, what is that going to accomplish? God made you and he is going to take care of you.
So, angry? No. It wouldn't do any good, and quite honestly, you just don't have the time for that.
I know you are not spending your time thinking why me? I think about the old saying, "We aren't given the burdens we deserve, we're given the burdens we can bear."
I am thankful that God gave you a peace that passes all understanding, to help you through the journey. Of course there is days of tears and sad times, but you get right back up and try it again. I know right now you have such a positive attitude. I am proud of you for having such tenacity and strength. You could have sat down and began feeling sorry for yourself,but instead with God help you choose to stand up and fight. There will be days ahead that you will question if you can make it. Some days it'll come easy and some days nothing will work. Keep coming back and giving it your best shot. And always know that I am there for you to lean on!
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'm your mother
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
with all my love,
Mother
Leah (Poodles)
Aunt Jo and I pray for you every day. We love you very much.
Uncle Steve
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