Monday, August 25, 2008

Dreading the Inevitable!

The day started off beautiful and sunny and ended up rainy....possibly the reason that I'm so tired today. I try to start off my mornings with a marathon around the kitchen and through the living room around the coffee table for approx. 30-40 minutes to build up strength. I know how excited that must make those who are reading this....don't try this at home, it is being done only by a professional and you could get hurt....ha.

However, today I know that I'm going to the dentist so I'm conserving my energy for that. Dental Hygentist said that I'm in excellent shape so no worries right now. I ask the dentist for the "magic mouthwash" I keep hearing about for those who have the same chemo treatments as I will be having. He prescribes the medicine and says that I should get it filled prior to my chemo treatment on Wednesday....just in case....:-(

I finally sent out my blog address and have received very thoughtful and sweet e-mail responses in return. Again, I'm feeling very blessed to have such a support system.

In the back of my mind, is the first dreaded day.....Wednesday, 8/27....! The nurse calls me this morning to change my doctor appt. and I ask her if I will immediately get nauseated after the 1st round of chemo prior to them hooking up my infusion pack to go home. She asks how far I live from the hospital. I tell her 1 to 1 1/2 hrs. depending on traffic. She tells me that I most definitely will be nauseated. Oh why did I have to ask? My worst fear of being nauseated and in the car! So....everything I do today makes me wonder about Wednesday? I know I'm going to make it through this but without God's intervention, I may have some pretty sick days. I remind myself of the precious e-mails I received just today telling me that they will be praying for me specifically on Wednesday. Okay, I allowed 'self' to get away with those thoughts....I'm going back to the initial thoughts of, "everyone handles it differently and the Lord is going to protect me"....why am I dreading this....chalk it up to the planner in me....I had planned on taking grandpa to the Calfornia Redwoods in 2 weeks, not hooked up to a tube infusing medical life preservation fluid into my body.

I am quickly reminded....I have options and God is my umbrella in this storm. It may rain but God is right over protecting me as I walk through this storm. My favorite quote, "This too shall pass!"
So, let it rain....it will all soon be over.

3 comments:

Mother said...

God will take care of you ---
and will give you rainbows after the storms.
I trust today will be a better day.
love you bunches,
Mother

Katrina Blasius said...

Dear Leah,
I have been thinking of you! Learning of your journey sofar, through my mom and dad, has been heartbreaking. In reading your blog you have started, I have faith that God will take care of you and get you through this challenge in your life. Your undeniable faith and dedication to God will give you the power to face every day. Please know that I will be praying for you daily. Love Always, Katrina

Anonymous said...

I want to write something that will be so enlightening and encouraging to you, but nothing seems perfect enought. I do want you to know that I think of you often and pray that this chapter of your life will give you more than you expected from those who love and care for you. Thanks for bringing me into this century -- this is my very first blog comment. "I be blogging now." God bless you, Laura