Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Praying for NED!!

Wow, I've missed talking to my family and friends online. The last chemo treatment was pretty intense and left me with my feet and hands extremely sensitive and........all the other things that come with chemo that I purposely don't share. My hands hurt just typing this but I decided that I have to move on and so that is what I'm going to do......

I would love to say since my last scheduled chemo is over that things are back to a somewhat "normal" status, whatever that is.... The fact is, I still have some hurdles to jump through, not that I will do it any other way than with the Lord, prayer and you. I have many doctor appts. this month and followed by all the testing they do in April. They always wait at least 9 weeks until they start testing to see if the cancer has moved anywhere else in my body and to check to make sure they got what was there. They call this NED (No evidence of disease)!!!! This is what we are praying for.....I really feel that it is GONE, GONE, GONE but I'll let them do the testing so we can prove that. "-) After the initial testing, I will continue to get tested every 3 months for awhile and then proceed from there. However, my Oncologist said they would not know the path they would follow until I am tested and results are returned.

In addition to this, they want me to have another chest exam to make sure the 3 lumps and the biopsy they've done is okay. They felt certain it was okay but want to make sure there hasn't been any spread of cancer during my chemo. One would think that chemo would kill any cancer cells from spreading but cancer can and does spread even while you are on chemo.....go figure, hard to imagine as hard as it is on your body. With mine being at such an advanced stage, increases the chance of re-occurence and spreading.....however, I do not claim it, nor do I hear it and my body can not receive it!! NED all the way!!

My doctor would not even hear of me returning to work yet. I, at first, was upset but since then have figured out why that is so....the chemo effects can get worse once you are off chemo and it takes your body awhile to get back to normal. I have had some unbelievable breakthrough pain, as they call it....so intense that you wonder how much longer you can go through it but the Lord and my family have helped me deal with the pain. One minute I am totally fine and then all of a sudden, the pain starts in one part of your body and within seconds your body feels like it is on fire inside and out and everything hurts. I still am unable to explain the pain. I did find information on my type of chemo and it said it is normal to go from mild to severe pain within seconds and the only thing that helps are pain meds. I decided I could write the articles for the doctors. ha. Not sure that I would want to but I sure could give some tips and advice that are not on websites for others to really understand what they are going to do through and ways to circumvent as much as possible. I'm sure anyone who has gone through it, could do the same.

I did go out for a couple of hours the past 2 days and I'm paying for it tonight. I never ever used to have pain anywhere, now it is what I live with.....so I understand what my doctor is talking about, as far as returning to work immediately. I couldn't even work on the computer for that long and I'm not up for all day yet. I wish I were because I want to get back ut my body right now has been through alot the last 8 months, so it has to rest, rebuild and restore.

Now more than ever, I feel everywhere I turn, someone has colon cancer. I just bought a Christian fiction book yesterday and got to the middle of it and the aunt is dying of.....you guessed it....colon cancer. How ironic of all books that I would pick that one and it is never mentioned anywhere on the cover about it? Reading about others going through the same thing really intrigues me. I guess I still have not fully comprehended the past 9 months that it is actually me going through this...so hearing other's story makes me want to listen, understand and try to relate to what they are going or have gone through.....to see how they are dealing with it. I just know that I have so much to be thankful for and have taken so much for granted that I want to make sure that I listen and learn from others as I continue this journey....

No matter the crisis the country is in, we are still by far the richest people in the world. Even the poorest people in the US are rich compared to so many Third World countries. Our country even has assistance. We think we have it bad and then you see where children are dying from diseases just from the flies. All they need is a $10.00 net to protect their family but they are unable to afford it so people die needlessly from disease; only because they do not have a net.

If God is concerned about the sparrow that falls to the ground and knows the number of hairs on our head, there is no question he cares about the smallest or biggest struggle in our lives. We may feel that our problems fall on deaf ears but I'm so glad that I know where I can turn to and that HE is always listening.

Thank you all so much for your support thus far, I'm going to continue to blog because I want to go back and savor the journey, no matter the outcome. I only expect to hear that I'm NED and I pray that no one else has to take any type of journey that makes you feel battered and bruised. However, always know that God is available 24/7 and you have a friend in me. I owe so many so much and I don't want to ever forget that.
Hope you enjoy the following, I've seen it several times and everytime it makes me laugh. :-)

Little? John the Baptist
Matt. 18:4-5 "Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. "
Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!" Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

As always, love to all,


Vernie said...

Good morning Ms. Leah, so good to see that blog from you. I loved that story about the cat getting baptized, I needed a chuckle this morning. Rest well today, you're always on my mind and in my heart.


Sherry said...

Good Morning,

The cat story so funny. Wanted to let you know I have a few pictures for you from the Tea Party.
Hope you have a good day. Praying for you.

Love you,

Donna said...

I had to get a chuckle when I saw the boy playing church with the cat. That is so cute. Kids have such an imagination.

We hope and pray for the best for you in your testing that is coming up.
Donna New

Mother said...

The cat story is something you would have done when you were a kid. Oh the stories I could tell.
You always had such a happy spirit when you were a child and that has carried over into your adult life.
I am so proud of the way you have walked through this journey with so much faith. Broken down but never defeated.
I love you bunches,