Saturday, August 8, 2009

In the stillness of the night....

Most nights I lie awake, unable to sleep and I listen to the quietness all around me. There is no one else awake, the lights are out...I get up and look out the window and the neighbor's lights are one appears to be up.....all I hear are sighs of someone breathing but very still in their sleep. I toss to and fro wishing I could also sleep. My mind begins to race with so many thoughts of the day, week, on-going challenges and I'm reminded that although these thoughts over take my present time, this is the time my body should be getting energized.
As I try to find a comfortable position, it seems all my bones ache, which make me toss and turn more. I lean over because I know my faithful companions, my little dogs are sleeping on the floor beside me. I reach my hand down to pet them and they too are asleep and do not see me reach for them. I have to move closer to the edge of the bed just to reach them. They wag their tails but they do not venture to get up but let me know they feel me touching them. After a few minutes, I can even hear my dogs sleeping. In fact, Dakota (the boy) begins to snore. I listen in the night with envy.
As I lay awake, I realize even in the stillness of the night and cannot sleep that I am content. The secret of contentment is the realization that life is a gift and not a right. Every second of every day counts no matter if we are awake or sleeping. It makes me realize how many seconds, minutes and hours are really in a day. We usually wake up counting the time to work, time to have lunch, time to come home, hours before bedtime and bedtime.
I think maybe I should be counting my blessings. Time is more valuable than money because time is irreplaceable. Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our blessings. "I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings." Psalms 77:11, 12
I finally did fall asleep very late this morning, as I usually do and the phone started ringing around 7ish a.m. I was in such a deep sleep that I jumped up and realized that someone had taken the phone off my bedside table and so I started running around to find a phone. Normally if we get calls late at night or early in the morning, especially on Saturday, I think something is wrong. By the time, I get to the phone I hear the answering machine kick on. I realize that the call wasn't for me and later not that important to wake the whole family up on a Saturday morning. Jumping up like that out of a deep sleep makes me feel sick to my stomach. So what I thought was going to be a good morning to sleep....becomes restless again, so I just get up. I feel very frustrated that the only morning I get an opportunity to catch up on sleep from the week was taken away!! So now that I've been up, I feel very sleepy but unable to sleep so my day will not be as productive as it needs to be.
However, I am excited because today Kimberly comes back home from Nashville, Tennessee from Youth Congress. There are so many young people at this conference that the mall in Tennessee stays open all night. I know there are parties going on so I'm sure they all stayed up to blow-out the last night. Although I will be very excited to see her and find out all the fun they've had, I'm sure I will see a sleepy daughter come in and go straight to bed. However, it is always peaceful when all the kiddies are home and tucked safely in. It is a content feeling knowing everyone is safe.
So many things have happened this week in the markets and within my Corporation that I realize how lucky we are to have our jobs. It would be nice not to have to work but since we do, it is nice to know we have a place to go to. So many are without jobs....I just pray that things start to settle down, the economy picks up and people are able to find employment.
No matter the situation around us, we must still find happiness. There is more joy for our journey than there is disappointment. If we didn't have disappointment, how would we know the true feelings of gratitude? I don't like to linger long in the pasture of wonder but remember the promise of Jesus, "Cast all your care upon Him, for HE cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
It doesn't matter who else cares about your situation, God does and that's all that really matters!!
Have a blessed day...and remember God who takes time to keep tabs on every sparrow, then surely HE keeps special tabs on you. You are not alone.

Love to all,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post Leah. I'm Leah's friend from years ago who reconnected with Leah when she started her blog. I followed her posts from day one - never dreaming that cancer was brewing inside of me as I read those blogs. Now, I'm going through the same things Leah described. It can't be a coincidence that I was so drawn to that website each day. I can't tell you how helpful Leah's blog has been in uplifting me and giving me inspiration to push on - even when things are getting really difficult. It has also helped in giving me practical information about treatments and what to expect and how to handle the hurdles. I know your blog has helped so many people - and I just want to say THANKS for everything Leah. You are special.