Monday, September 7, 2009

So long but not forgotten.....

I've written several times in this blog since my last entry but each time I get distracted and so I close up my thoughts with the point of returning to finish and other things seal the time in my day. I have been negligent in my blog.

I've missed my online friends and family. In fact, many times I just miss the serenity of having quiet times at home and within my day. It seems funny that when I was so sick that all I could think about was getting back to "normal" but now that I'm back to "normal", I realized that maybe I never knew what "normal" was really supposed to be.

As I've said many times before, when I was sick, I lived every second, minute, hour and every day. I was very aware of the time on the clock because my life depended on the next moment hoping and praying that it would be better. It has been great....I feel wonderful, I still have physical struggles but I'm great! However, now I miss so many moments and time in my day. It is scheduled away even before I start that all the things I want to do and the people I want to talk to don't seem to happen because the schedule in my day impedes this type of productive process.

When I returned back to work June 1st, 2009, I knew it was going to be hard. I just didn't know how hard it was going to be!! It didn't take me more than a couple of weeks to realize that I was climbing Mt. Everest in an attempt to be "normal". It was so depressing because it was so physically and mentally demanding and my body was not up to it, that I was literally in tears everyday. Many of you reading this will think, I was around you and I didn't notice any difference. Well, you wouldn't because I'm great at hiding most things but inside I was a wreck.

I made a pact to myself that I would not give up or give in and I would assess the situation after I'd been to work 3 months, which is 60 working days. I had accomplished so much, traveled on business 4 different times in this short span and have literally tried to work through the mounds of pressure and internal/external goals. Although I worked long hours, the work didn't seem to subside and the pressure mounting, I realized that it had nothing to do with my physical strength but the stress of the position had just grown since I'd been gone and nothing was going to change that.

I have just reached the 3 month goal, September 1, 2009. I can say the stress has grown, the work has grown but my confidence that I can continue has also grown. Do I think it is too much to continue at this pace? Absolutely, it is too much for anyone. There has to be more in our days than starting bright and early and ending when the sun is going down at is an evolving process and I firmly believe it is going to be fine. :-)

Although I've not written, there are many others that are going through their own battles and journies through sickness and I've been personally impacted by them through direct contact or through friends and family.

First of all, Tammy Taylor who has posted many times on this blog is going through her chemo. She has highs and lows and knows and feels overwhelmed by the amount of time she must endure this process. Boy, I can remember hearing 6 months and feeling like they said 12 yrs. Until you been through can't imagine it. It seems forever....but we are still praying and believing for her healing in every way as she continues to endure.

Pat Mabery-Lives in California but is a dear friend to one of my friends at church. She has just been diagnosed with liver cancer. Please keep her in your prayers!

Barbara Willoughby-She and her husband has been missionaries to Singapore for years. Originally from Illinois, she met her husband at Bible College and have done an awesome work in Singapore. She and I have talked over this past year. She has been an inspirational friend. She and her husband both have/had cancer. She was 49 and just lost her battle approx. a week and 1/2 ago. Please pray for her husband and 3 children. They are an awesome family giving their all to God to the people of Singapore and really need our support.

Chrisitie Jones-She is a cousin to my friend David at work. We have never met but she has been an awesome encourager throughout my journey through cards and prayers. Her mother-in-law was on vacation to Alaska this past week and had a massive heart attack. So unexpected...please pray for encouragement.

Grace-Diagnosed with breast cancer. She was having a port put in this past week at a hospital in Macon and they punctured her cortoid artery. Her chest cavity filled with blood causing a pneuomothrorax and has caused breathing problems. She was expected to be in the hospital for 4-5 days. They still have not been able to get the port inserted. Please pray for guidance and encouragement as they determine next steps.

David-Our neighbor across the street's son-in-law diagnosed with colon cancer and told by the doctors he only has a maximum 2 years to live. Please pray for God's will and encouragement as our Heavenly Physician is the one who determines our survival rate.

Gary-My cousin's bro-in-law just diagnosed with esophagus cancer. They are still trying to determine next steps and may possibly be headed to Houston, Texas for treatment. Another unexpected situation but no situation is unexpected with God...he knows our need even before we ask.

Carla-Young mother who attends our church was diagnosed with breast cancer and has just gone through surgery. Last I heard she was Stage 3 and was doing well. Another great need that needs lifted in our prayers.

I know I'm missing several more people that I've been talking with or praying for but my mind is failing me.

As we sit and enjoy the time with our families and friends on this Labor Day, please try to remember those less fortunate and those that are on the battlefields oversea fighting for our country. No matter what happens in life, it is what we do with our lives that ultimately matter....I've never been to a funeral yet where they talked about the material possessions any person contained rather it is the memories we make everyday that are most precious. I want my last memory to be standing on streets of gold and hearing the words, "well done my good and faithful servant, enter in"........and then seeing all my family.

No matter when our time on earth is done, it is our eternal soul that lives forever...I want to make sure that I'm in peace on earth and bound for heaven.

Have a peaceful night and a beautiful day!
Love to all,
Good night!


Anonymous said...


I am so glad you are making it. Your schedule sounds hideous, but you are doing it and doing it well. Please tell your friend, Tammy, that she is on my prayer list. I have seen her name on here many times, and I so hate she is fighting her own battle now. So many are fighting, but God always wins the battle.

Have a blessed day!


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Vernie said...

Good evening Leah. I sure have been missing you, but I knew you were busy and when I did not see a blog from you I envisioned you out and about enjoying your days and your life to the fullest. Please remember to do that.

Yes, my co-worker Tammy is in chemo now, and sounds like it's rough. She's a trooper though Leah, and she has so many people talking with God about her until it's just a matter of time and she'll be back! I just believe it! I'm so glad you're there for her, I know she is forever grateful that you two connected after all those years. We never know what God has planned for us, but we do know he has one. All we can do in the meantime is live according to his will, so that when our storm comes along, we will have an army of Christians surrounding us with prayers and love and support.

Well, this holiday is about to come to an end, so I guess I better prepare for the next workday. Don't work too hard now, I try hard not to. I think sometimes I work harder at avoiding hard work than I do just working! LOL! That's me though, just like to savor my energy for good times.

Love ya lady!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great blog Leah and for all of the people you have praying for me. I can feel it. You continue to be an inspiration to all of us. We never know when we're going to need that kind of support. I'm trying to work a few days out of each chemo cycle, but I'll admit, it is difficult. But, I know if I ever need to talk to someone who's been there and done that, I can pick up the phone and call Leah. Thanks for everything.


mother said...

Glad to see that you have blogged. Even though I talk to you every day I still enjoy reading your blogs. They are always so uplifting... sometimes it tells me more than you are willing to share with your worry wart mother. lol
Always trying to hide your feelings... but mothers always have their way of finding out. Ha!!
I love you with all my heart.
Love Mother

raju ahamad said...

Thank you to come back.