Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Good and not so good things!

Life is so busy, I feel that I meet myself coming and going. Life shouldn't pass by us so quickly. It just seems as the sun comes up in the morning, I go to work and the day becomes a blur and then back home and the sun is already gone down and then in a few short hours, it all starts over again.
I try to remind myself that every day is a blessed day. No matter how much we struggle or what we have to go through, it is worth living. A couple of days ago, someone at work was celebrating a birthday and when I said to them..."oh, someone has a birthday," they replied, "I'm not having one this year," to which I said,"I used to say that until I almost didn't have one so now I'm proud of my age because it means another year God blessed me with life." We get so wrapped up in the things that really mean so little and have to make time for the things we savor so much....why does life have to be that way?
The other day I received a little saying about the things we should no longer worry of the sayings went something like this, "I don't worry as much about my job as I do my friends because when I'm sick or in need, my friends are the ones who visit, call, prepare my supper or just lend support....a job is just a job." The job will just be picked up by someone else and pretty soon they will say, "Leah who?" I say, Amen to that...I have been surrounded by so many friends (work, church and otherwise) that I can't imagine a life without them!!
Since I've last blogged, the friend whom I requested prayer for that had the same cancer as I and only given months to live, died 2 days after I made my last post. I must tell you that I was very heart broken for his family. He and I had spoken about our struggle with this disease and he had total faith that he was going to make it. He was 31, left behind his wife, his son (who is 4) and a daughter who just turned 1 the day before her dad had his colon surgery in January.
I must say that I was shocked and unsettled, as it happened really fast. However, God has a plan for all of us and the most important thing is that he was ready to go. He left behind an awesome legacy for his children. So many live long lives and do not give half as much to their families. It isn't always the quantity, most time we remember the quality time.
Tammy, (she worked at my company for 15 yrs. and had left years ago but we reconnected through my sickness) posts comments on here for me all the time has just found out that she has Hodgkins Lymphoma. She has been there for me throughout this past year faithfully reading my blog, sending cards, leaving comments, etc. never knowing that she would be going through the same thing. She was due for a PET scan today. I believe once she gets the results she will know the stage of cancer she is in.
After I found out last week, she and I were talking and she shared an experience with me that really inspired her. She said that as she was going down the road thinking about the cancer and what she was going to go through, she said she just spoke and said, "God will you just give me a sign that everything is going to be okay?". She said it wasn't 15 seconds later that she looked up at the sky with large billowy clouds and a mist started coming down and then the most beautiful rainbow came out of the sky. God has an awesome way of reassuring us if we put our trust in HIM. We cannot do it ourselves. Sorry for those of you who think it is weak to love God, go to church, etc. If you are ever near death or it comes upon you suddenly, I guarantee you will quickly find out how powerless and weak you really amount of money or power gets you anywhere when faced with death!
Please remember Tammy and her family in your prayers. I know mentally how difficult this journey is....many times the mental part of the journey overshadows the physical part. Believe me, physically there are days you wonder if you are going to make it but I always turned my face and faith to the Comforter. HE is the one who brings you through when you don't think you can't but HE can. I saw a saying today, "He won't take you TO, what he won't bring you THROUGH". Sometimes I firmly believe this is a way to test you! Do you really have what you think you have or what you say you have or are you so weak that you just lie down and die?
Sometimes you can do everything you know to do and still it is in God's plan to go. I still want to be remembered for how hard I fought for my family, how we used the resources of family and friends to get through....if you don't want to fight for yourself...fight for your family....don't they deserve a legacy? Show them what real strength looks like...hang on, hold on and fight!
Not really sure why I'm writing what I'm writing tonight. I just have this feeling that someone is feeling very low and needs to know that it is going to be okay. Success is not what we have, our abilities, our high profile connections, it is feeling peace and contentment. No matter your situation, things could be a whole lot worse and they can be a whole lot better. It is finding the balance of being happy in whatever you do. I'm amazed just people watching and finding those who find excitement in the smallest of things and then others who can find no excitement in anything.
I want to find joy and happiness where ever I have to go or do in life. It is no different than taking a long road trip. You can be 20 hours in misery getting there or finding fun things to do on the way (playing games, singing, watching movies or just enjoying the scenery). No matter what, you will still be on the journey for 20 hrs.....just make the best of it and enjoy the ride.
I have to put a mirror in front of myself sometimes and say, "would I like to be around me?"
Ah, I just looked out the kitchen door as I was typing this and the most beautiful bird just landed. I love birds...another one of God's very special creations!

Love to all,


Vernie said...

Hi Leah, and all of my blogging family! Thank you Leah so much for being there for all of us who have found inspiration in your faith and trust. I've always said that God will put people in your life for a reason, and just the other day Tammy and I decided that God put you in her life because he knew she would need you to help her thru her own journey. She's a fighter and she has a really good outlook on life, so with all her friends and all her family and all of us praying, you know she'll be fine. Thank you for being there to share experiences with her, that is a good thing for her right now. You take care of yourself and keep on giving thanks for all you have been given. I continue to pray for you and I always thank God that he sent you into my life, even if it is only on the key-strokes, I feel so connected. Stay strong.


Anonymous said...

Leah, I've thanked you all along for giving all of us such inspiration, but now with my new situation, it takes on an even greater importance to me personally. I'm sure as I go through my journey with this, I will go back and read your posts over and over. Not only have you given me inspiration and hope, I have learned a lot about this whole process and what I will be going through. I'm a person who wants to know all the facts and not go into it blindly - you have helped a lot with that. Reading about it is one thing, but knowing a person who has actually been through it is quite another.

I'll keep you posted on my progress as I keep hanging onto that rainbow. Talk to you soon, friend.