Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm baaaacccccckkkkkk!!!

Wow, it has been so long since I've blogged...it wasn't purposeful, just necessary! I have missed everyone so much.
My life has been a revolving door of "good news, bad news" but I choose to go with the good news and leave the rest behind.
Since I've last been on here, I've been to Houston, Texas to get a second diagnosis. The news from that was a miracle! I have thanked God so many times for such wonderful results. I came back home, they required that I go through all the same testing AGAIN. The results came back inconsistent with the prior results. I've decided that the up, down, back and forth keeps me in neutral so I am going forward. My fuel is my faith and God is my protector...so what am I sitting still for...too much to do, so little time!!! :-)
So many will say, "you don't look sick" or "you haven't ever looked sick" and for that, I'm grateful...unfortunately it wasn't that way and hasn't been that easy...not that I've wanted any type of pity but sometimes it makes me feel as if people think that I'm faking. I wish it were that way, I know I have pushed myself way beyond what I knew I was capable of doing...and for that, I'm guilty.
Chemotherapy causes chronic sleep problems. I thought it was just me until I just read an recent cancer newsletter that said that 75% of Chemo patients end up with sleep problems. It is because of the steriods they give you before and after chemo. It is also the reason you never look like you lose any weight and it is also the reason after chemo, you can't lose weight. It takes awhile for it to work out of your system.
Well, I had already started having problems with sleep prior to chemo so the drugs only intensified the issue. I have now gotten something to help me rest and I can't tell you what a difference in being able to sleep has done physically for my body. Oh my, it has given my body renewed energy. Wahoo...it has been wonderful! I am feeling stronger every day.
I asked my Oncologist why I have sweet cravings. I have never had them before and since chemo, I feel like I could turn the kitchen upside down looking for something sweet. The doctor said it happens in about 25% of chemo patients and they aren't sure why. While I was sick, I could care less about food, especially sweets. Now I will get up in the night without even realizing it and I'll wake up in the kitchen. It is kind of scary but my doctor said again, it is the medicine that I'm on for sleep and the chemo affects the sweet cravings! It is sorta funny but I'm switching medicine so at least I know that I'm on a sweet hunt! ha. I don't have that during the day, I guess because I take the meds at night.
Other than all the obvious things, I am so grateful for another year! No matter what I've gone through and will continue going through, I'm so blessed! Today, I was talking with one of the doctors and they said, "you are just too young to have gone through this much mess".....and then they told me that I was above average mentally for how I've handled what has been dealt, I just say, "thank you Lord"....I couldn't have made it without HIM! I'm so thankful that along the way, that I have had wonderful family, friends, co-workers, etc. who have continuously supported us through prayer, e-mails, letters, cards, food or whatever contribution you might have made.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Much love,
Leah

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Leah. I'm the first to post! Bet you thought I wasn't checking your website that often. I can't wait to tell Vernie. If I told her before I posted, she might beat me to it (ha). I'm so glad you are moving forward - no matter what these crazy tests show. Houston has one of the top cancer centers in the nation - so I would be more inclined to go with their good news. This will be a lesson for me when I get my tests after my last chemo which will be this Friday (YES!).

It is so good to hear from you on this board and also in our phone conversations. You have been a great inspiration and resource for information that has helped me get through these 11 chemo treatments and all the horrible side effects that we have dealt with.

I look forward to our continuing friendship and mutual support.

We love you Leah.

Your partner in chemo,

Tammy

Vernie said...

LEAH!!!!! Girl you have been missed! Tammy is so right, if I had seen your post before she told me my fingers would have started dancing on these keys!! Tammy said just a few minutes ago that she was gonna call you and I told her after she called you to call me! Then you posted!! AMAZING! We are all so connected by the spirit until I feel like running down the hall and screaming and telling the world! Let me calm myelf down girl, I'm so dramatic sometimes but I just feel things in my soul and I feel love for you and Tammy and I need to express that. I guess this blog will have to do to keep me from getting fired! LOL!!

Keep on doing what you're doing, it's working for you. Prayers and the love of family and friends will keep you strong as God continues to provide everything else you need.

Stay busy but not too busy to connect!! We love you and we lift you up and we give thanks for having you in our lives!

Much love!
Vernie

Hey Tammy girl!! you know me soooo well!!!

Jennifer said...

Hey Leah, everytime I see you I can't help but to tear up, because I'm so thankful to have you here with us! I love you and God has blessed me with a wonderful, holy friend, you are such an inspiration and encouragement! You have this affect on all who are around you, more than you realize. Not to mention you always make me laugh! Well, I'm just very thankful! I will continue to hold you up in my prayers! May the Lord continue to bless! See you soon!
Jennifer

Anonymous said...

Hi Leah...You just popped in my mind today and I thought...I will check her blog and look you had a posting. I think of you often and you are always in my prayers. Your blog inspires me!!

Buffie

Tina Dungy said...

It's been a long time since I've written but wanted to know you are still in my hearts and prayers and it's great to see that you are doing well. God is so awesome and I'm glad to see he's keeping his hand on you.

Tina Dungy
Pop-A-Lock Atlanta

Jack Cloud said...

I found this quite by accident, but I'm touched for you. Makes me realize how blessed life really is...Stay strong Leah, I'll keep you in my prayers.