Thanksgiving with a grateful heart!

I so enjoyed Thanksgiving. I was able to go to my family and my husband's family on different days. :-)

On Thanksgiving, I wasn't really feeling very well and wasn't sure I was going to make it through the day but just being around people really cheered me up!

Today I was able to go to church....although wearing a winter hat with a suit looked horrid, I was so happy to be in service. I've not been in service for 3 weeks!! For those who do not attend church, I can't even imagine. There is so much gratefulness and joy that I get every time I go to church!

Today's service was of course about our blessings and how we often forget the benefits of serving God. As our Pastor stated, Thanksgiving is not just a holiday but should be the condition of our hearts everyday. Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving. It is our attitude. We need an attitude of gratitude! I've always felt that way....in fact, I get a little upset sometimes at our children/teens in our society and their ungratefulness. Yes, it is because we spoiled them.

We've become a disposable society. If we don't want it, just toss it. Adults are often at fault for the same thing. Relationships which should be meant for life are disposed of easily. It is because we have so much abundance of things, that we overlook how blessed we really are! It is often said that the poorest family in America is wealthy compared to those in Third world countries. Yet we often hear grumbling and complaining because we were not able to find the latest and greatest toy for our child or how we live on a hamburger and beans budget! Thank the Lord we even have enough money to budget.

I recently read about a man in China whose hand was cut off because he stole a chicken for his starving family. He was imprisoned and was sentenced to death...all because of a chicken he stole for his family. Stealing is never correct but think of Black Friday when someone was trampled to death inside a Walmart all because someone wanted to be the first in line for a bargain. It still blows me away. How could so many people rush through the doors in such a hurry that someone could be trampled to death in America???

Our lives have become so easy and simple compared to our ancestors. We have remotes for everything, dishwashers, microwaves, garage door openers, water heaters....on and on and we complain when our efficiencies do not work. Well, they do need to be fixed but it is a time for reflection on how much easier our lives really are. Yet again, the poorest family here will have most of the same efficiences.

We are just so blessed! I have always said that God has blessed me more than I deserve. It is always the way that I will start praying. "Thank you so much for all my blessings". At a time like this when I'm trying to be normal and go through the Holidays...I realize even more how much we take for granted. Our health to start with...we take for granted that we are going to get up and be able to do whatever it is in the day that we've planned. It can be taken away just in a blink of time. I certainly never considered it in my days of planning. I took it for granted. I knew I had not abused my body, therefore why would I need to worry. Well, life has a way of reminding us of our blessings and making us realize the important things in life. It certainly is not things.

I would give every material thing up not to go through chemo. However, this is one time it is not my choice. Clinically I must do it to survive. However, I'm so grateful to know that I have a Savior who continues to bless me and my family through this hardship. It is through all of YOU who pray, encourage, and let us know that this journey is not forever and when it is finished....it is finished. I have a church family that prays for me every single service, along with so many other people that my family realizes we are not traveling this journey alone. I cannot express how much that means in my times of sheer agony when I just want to go away. I think of all the people that are praying and lifting our family up and it comforts me. The pain doesn't go away in my body but my spirit is lifted up into the comforting hands of Jesus Christ. My heart is so grateful!

May the Lord continue to bless all of you and may his reason for my journey be revealed! As always, love to all for your kindness to my family. We are forever grateful to you! :-)
Love to all,
Leah

I've had so much pain in the past couple of days but I still have so much to be thankful for!!! Everyone have a happy Thanksgiviing!!

A little bit of Peppermint tea and a whole lot of Jesus makes my morning! :-)

Yesterday was not a good day at all. I was in so much pain. I don't know why that happens all of a sudden.

Today, our middle daughter turns 20!! I can't believe it! I hope I'm at least able to take her out for dinner tonight. I don't feel well but I made some peppermint tea and made time for the Lord and it always gives me such comfort when starting out my day....no matter how bad!

The Lord has been so good to me. Even with the incredible pain and things I've had to go through, I just keep thanking him. I know it could get even worse but I know that with all your prayers, that I'm getting through this.

Friday night I had company from work. I'm usually sitting around in my pjs but knowing they were coming, I left my clothes on from my visit from the hospital. It was so exciting to get to see them! Of course, they bestowed so many wonderful things/gifts upon us from the office, that I just don't know what to say anymore except the ususal, "thank you, thank you, thank you". Everyone has done so much to help me but more importantly my family who has to go through all this too! I thank you so much for the gifts and most importantly, the prayers. Steve was concerned that I kept them too long talking. I was just so excited to have them come over for company!

There isn't a day that goes by that someone doesn't do something for us...whether it be a kind word, card, dinner, some sort of gift....I feel on the days that I just want to melt away that I owe so much to so many that it keeps me going and helps me mentally to get through the pain.

This week, which we all know is Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year. God has always blessed us so much that I love this time of the year to reflect on HIS goodness. I hope you feel the same way. No matter what we go through, there is always someone in a worse condition or has so many more needs that we have.

I know so many will be going out of town and on the roads. Please be careful and have a good week! I just pray that I can keep up enough energy to spend time with my family, which I enjoy so much. During this time, let's all be prayiful for those that don't have the blessings of family, food, and love during this time.

As always, love to all!! I truly mean it....
Leah

Today has been a difficult day, thank you for your prayers!

Back to Emory to remove my pump!

Good morning! I thought I would blog before the day gets to busy!

I'm headed back to Emory to remove my pump. I woke up very sick and nauseated! After having a nice evening with my parents and kids, the chemo always seems to backfire on me. Steve got me a piece of toast and I took some pain meds and I'm feeling ok right now. So frustrating....

I'm can't believe my oldest daughter is turning 20 on Monday. My how time flies. I had hoped once I leave Emory I could at least stop and pick up a card. We are celebrating her birthday with all the family on Thanksgiving.

I just want to say again how much I appreciate my blog comments. So many of you, I've not talked to in years and it just warms my heart to hear from you!!! :-) You learn to appreciate the small things in life, which I already thought I did, but more so when you are down and cyberspace is your communication.......so keep those thoughts rolling.. I appreciate them so much!!

This Wednesday when I went in for chemo it was unbelievable how many people were there!!!! I've never seen so many people. I was thinking to myself, "has this many more people been diagnosed?" but realized that most were wearing masks and they looked really sick. I knew then that they had been having chemo for awhile. I asked the nurses why it was so busy. Apparently they are all trying to get in before the holidays. Emory closes for 2 days for the holiday, which was very surprising to me. This is when you pray that you really don't need them.

Today I'm going to start wearing scarves. My head has so many bald spots that it is frustrating to try to constantly comb-over and then I get out and my hair keeps falling down because there isn't enough to clip onto....I'm not going to wear a wig because this will make my hair fall out and won't grow back. I tried hats on this week because my head gets so cold but oh my....I look horrible! It was quite funny. I will have to find something to keep my head warm but it isn't going to be an easy task I don't think.

I've lost about 15-20 lbs but with all the steriods, you can't tell it. I wonder when this is all over if all of a sudden, I'll just drop the weight or I'll retain it. I really don't care one way or the other, I'm just glad my cell counts haven't been so low yet that I have to have shots and other means that make the chemo worse. My red blood counts were down and my white blood cells were slightly down but not enough to do anything....please pray that my body maintains the cell counts!

My mom massaged my feet alot yesterday which has seemed to help with the neuropathy. I'm so grateful for that. My feet and hands have pins and needles in them no matter what I do but with the massage and the lotion, it really seemed to help this morning.

Well....I'll quit blogging about nothing. I just thought I would give a little update on some of the symptons that I don't usually talk about....I could go on and on but I know God is in control so I don't usually make it the topic of the day. However, anytime something gets better, I always want to give God praise!!

By the way, I heard that an elf from my office is bringing over more paper goods, drinks, etc. tonight! I'm just so blessed in so many ways...the tears and the pain that I go through are made so much better by all of you...as I always say, words are inadequate to tell all how much me and my family appreciate each of you!! You can't even imagine how much!

I even have someone from my office today who insisted they give my family a break and is taking me to Emory. They may be sorry if I'm nauseated all the way as I am usually on this day! ha. However, I so appreciate the help.

Everyone have a very safe and wonderful day!
Love to all,
Leah

Blessings, Blessings, Count them one by one! :-)

Yesterday our day started around 6 a.m. in the frigid 20 degree weather to get to Emory for my chemo appointment. Steve warmed up the car but it still didn't feel like it. Wow, the weather really changed quickly this year. It just puts us all into the Holiday spirit. :-) Or should I say it does for me. I love this time of the year....so beautiful and joyful. I hope you feel that way too!

Although we didn't arrive home until about 5:30p.m. (very long day at Emory), it was very exciting to walk up to see my Christmas tree set up and lit up with my lights turned down and Christmas music playing. It sounds so silly but laying and watching a lit Christmas tree, fire place blazing, Christmas music and hot chocolate is one of the blessings God gives me for comfort. I do it year after year. I have to pay special tribute to the elves who came over and worked on it all day as a surprise (my sister, Lisa and nephews, Andrew and Nathaniel and my daughter, Kimberly).

Of course, to top all that off....another elf had brought dinner. These elves have been coming for the past 3 months on my chemo weeks. This is my church family. I appreciate all of them so much. I pray that God is blessing their families in so many ways! They pray for me every single church service. I appreciate the prayer so much. I don't like the attention at all but love the prayer and support.

My work family has supported us through paper goods. They brought over so much at the beginning and we've just now have run out. Mom just mentioned that they want to bring over more on Saturday. They also left American Express cards to use for expenses. They constantly support me by filling in my position while I'm gone, cards, calls, gifts, and most importantly prayer! No words to express gratitude! I love and miss them!

I use my blanket every single day. I also take it to Emory. It is by far the most comfortable blanket and I do feel that I'm wrapped in your prayers every time I use it! I really do get alot of comfort from the blanket because it is just soft enough and definitely warm. I tend to freeze most of the time so it is perfect. I caught Kimberly under it the other night and I had to be selfish and let her know that she had to fork it over....this was one thing that only had one owner! ha. Another one of the blessings from all of you.

I was in pain in the night but I didn't wake up with nausea this morning, which is a real blessing. I've had it the whole time I've been sick and it is supposed to increase so the fact that it didn't happen this morning...almost alarmed me. ha. I had to sit and think about whether I was really awake and whether I was really feeling what I thought I was feeling. Another blessing...thanks to your prayers.

Another exciting thing is that we may have pinpointed a reason for some of the excruicating pain I've been having. They sent me for more x-rays yesterday and feel they may have located the reason. We are going to see over the next few days with new medicine and process to see if it can be alleviated. My day to day quality of life would greatly improve!! It pays to keep telling your doctor over and over. This would be a great blessing!

So many things to be grateful for that I don't ever want to let my few little issues seem greater than the blessings God bestows on us everyday. All of you alone have blessed me and my family's life so much....I wouldn't even be able to start but you all know who YOU are.

I give thanksgiving first and foremost to my Creator, Jesus Christ and secondly to all of you.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!
Love, joy and peace to all!!
Leah

Thanksgiving may not be in my body but it sure is in my HEART!!

Oh my....I've not blogged in so long....so much to say....

This past treatment had my body down physically for about 11 of the 14 days. Now I have treatment again tomorrow. Unbelievable is the best way to describe it!!! Every day in my mind, I say, "today is a good day and I'm going to make the best of it".....even though my body lay on the couch, my mind would drift to so many other places.

I went back to my Surgeon yesterday for a follow-up from my colon resection surgery. He was so sympathetic to how bad my symptons were so he was trying to give me suggestions on what to do. Unfortunately every suggestion he made...we've already tried. He told me of medicine he takes to avoid surgery and he is a Surgeon!!

Although he was unable to give me any real advice to make things better, he told me that I had to go through chemo all the way. He stated my suffering was going to get much worse but because my cancer is so aggressive that it wasn't worth a re-occurence. My case puzzles the doctors because of not having a history or any of the other risk factors so they are genuinely concerned about my condition. Clinically without chemo they think there is a very good chance of re-occurence even though chemo isn't an absolute deterrant either. So, I left there without knowing much more than I already knew but knowing without the Lord, things are about to get unbearable even though I already feel it is unbearable most times.

I try to keep my head up and keep positive when I know the cards are stacked against me. However, I'm not going to lie.....laying day after day does affect me. Everytime the pain gets out of control, I just keep asking my family to pray for me right then. It comforts my soul even when my body is wracked with pain.

I haven't blogged because I don't want to talk about how bad I feel. I want to stay on top of this mentally and some days, I just don't have the energy except to get through the day.

I'm so glad that I have such a wonderful support of all those that read my blog, bring supper, send cards, say words of encouragement and most importantly, just pray, pray, pray. I know words are inadequate to say how much this means....but believe me, it does. My life will never be the same, I know so I accept whatever comes my way but I don't do it without prayer.

Steve keeps telling me it is almost over. I know for others that 12 weeks doesn't seem long but for me, it seems like eternity!

I covet your prayers tomorrow as I go back for chemo treatment #7!! I have chemo treatment on Wednesday, back on Friday to remove my chemo bag and a spinal appt. next Monday. I really want God to intervene so I can go to my daughter's Thanksgiving luncheon at school next Tuesday. I was unable to see our choir win the National People's Choice Award (congratulations to them)!!!

Although I feel a little low, I know in the big scheme of things....God is in control and everything IS going to be okay.....In HIM do I trust!

Thank you again! I was finally able to get out today and do grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. I knew this would be my last chance to get it all together and I plan to enjoy Thanksgiving, whether on my couch or with my family. Whatever God allows me to do, thanksgiving will be in my heart!
Love to all,
Leah