Yesterday after visiting a GI specialist as a follow-up from my ER visit, she wanted to get me in to have an endoscopy before my next chemo appt. which is tomorrow. They just happened to have a cancellation with Emory's esphogus specialist. Yeah for me!! :-) :-( Sad and glad all at the same time because I'm sick of procedures.
However, it is good they are able to get me in today because I do not want the pain I had with the esphogus spasms or so they think. Apparently these spasms are very painful and act like a heart attack so many times people are mis-diagnosed.
So, I have to leave for Emory at 1 p.m., to be prepped for surgery at 2:00 p.m. and in surgery at 3:00 pm. They say that I'll only be in surgery and recovery for about 2 hrs.
So after today, I'll have been at Emory every day this week except Thursday. Oh, I'll be so glad to be out of medical facilities. I've had my fill for a lifetime!! My body is now probably worth close to a half million dollars or possibly more with the surgeries and side bar visits to specialists.
I would not have guessed in a million years that this would have been me. Not that I've ever questioned it but I've always led a clean life so I guess you just assume your health is always going to be there. I guess this just shows us that we are never to assume or take for granted blessings such as our health or other things that we just expect.
One thing I did not expect and that is the awesome support everyone has shown. Mickey Clarke on behalf of my office and our office in Reston, Virginia brought over so many paper goods, drinks, tea, peppermint tea and then left us with money on Sunday!! I felt overwhelmed as I always do when someone shares of their time, their food, money, etc. I just feel so indebted to all of you. The meals, cards, flowers, and overall support that is always being bestowed upon my family. I thought about it all day yesterday on the way to Emory and cried all the way to pick up my sister. I just don't know how to express the gratitude. I can't even begin to give back what others have given to me but I do know that I will pay it forward!
I've never been to a funeral where they talked about the material things that were accumulated in someone's life. They usually never talk about their job or about how smart the person was....it is typically always about the relationships the person had with others. The impact their life made in this world. It is those things that I want to be remembered for. Not the things that I have but the way I might have treated someone who was having a bad day or the relationship with my children and family. It is more important to treat someone with kindness and take a few extra minutes than to quickly snap at someone. I'm always preaching to the choir in my comments but I want my life to have purpose. I want my life to reflect something that people feel and like. I do not want to be the person that others turn away from. I want to be a friend that others are proud to have and to be around.
Well, guess I better run. I have a long day today. Tomorrow starts my chemo again. Please pray that my counts are up and I can have this next treatment. I'm ready for the "end of chemo" party to begin. I dread the chemo, I don't dread the disease. Sounds weird, I know.....
Love to all,
Leah
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
At Emory today for another Specialist Appt.....will blog later.
I also have chemo Wednesday through Friday this week. If you need to reach me for anything, tomorrow (Tuesday) is the only day this week that I'm really free.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Loving with a grateful heart!
I really look forward to time with my family. I really hate sitting at home if I'm feeling okay. This is the first day in a long time that I'm not in alot of pain. I can't feel my finger tips or my feet from the neurophathy but who cares??? Those are just minor things.
I am so exited that it is the weekend and most of the time, my family will be home! Yeah!
My aunt and uncle are coming in today from Indiana. I think we may go to dinner with them. They want to come over and see me but I want to get out of here, even if it is only a couple of hours. When I'm sick, I have no desire to go out and am quite comfortable staying in but as soon as the feel good bell rings, I'm ready to rush out the door. Of course, after I'm out for awhile, I start to get run down pretty quickly. Little doses at a time I find, works for me. -)
This has been on my mind all day and that is the support, love, care and prayers that everyone has given my family through this journey. I know I have a long way to go before it is finished but I'm so grateful!! Every time I think of all the blessings and prayers that have been sent up for us, it always brings tears to my eyes. If that isn't love, I guess I just don't know what love is......I just don't think it can get any better than that.
With Valentine's day approaching I thought about all the cards, flowers, gifts and dinners that will be on this day. How many of these will be bought or given without much thought but out of obligation because we take love for granted? We take love from God, our spouses, our children as an expection rather than an opportunity.
Love is there when everyone else has picked up and moved on. Love is multi-faceted but in its truest form it is committed when the turbulence comes. It holds you together and becomes stronger when faced with difficulties rather than weaker. Love learns to agree to disagree and never expects its way to always be right. Love tries harder when faced with complications. Love is not physical lust rather it sees the beauty of the person, inside out. Love is constant. Love is forever. We all make a choice to love. It is not something that happens to you rather it is you who make the choice to love and be loved.
I've felt so much love and support from my family, church family, work family, friends and those I've never met that I'm constantly wondering how I can return the thanks? I do find it easier to give than to receive and I guess that is what eats at me because without the prayer and support, honestly I don't know if I would have made it; but how do I give back?
So today is another day I want to say from the bottom of my heart, "thank you!!!!" It is inconceivable to think of the support our family has received. It has certainly taught me a valuable lesson in giving. It is very important not to get so busy that we have intentions of reaching out to others but find ourselves so busy that we forget. Sometimes someone's life could be on the line...I know mine has been. However, I find so much encouragement from the constant blog comments, words of encouragement, cards, etc. etc. that even in my times of agony; I'm always thinking of the support and prayers. On days I wake up with extreme pain and wish the day would go away, I always think of the support and prayers. I've never given up. I will not be denied of my healing or blessing. Other than God's protection, You all have been my life support.
Hope you enjoy the poem:
MY DEAR FRIEND (Philippians 1:3)
One day Christ came to my heart,
He told me to close my eyes,
He said He had something for me,
A wonderful, splendid surprise.
Wrapped up in a friendly smile,
Christ lay His gift in my hand.
I accepted it with a curious look,
I didn't quite understand.
I felt a soft nudge from the Lord, I didn't know what to do.
When I opened my eyes what was my gift?
My dear friend, it was YOU!
Love always,
Leah
I am so exited that it is the weekend and most of the time, my family will be home! Yeah!
My aunt and uncle are coming in today from Indiana. I think we may go to dinner with them. They want to come over and see me but I want to get out of here, even if it is only a couple of hours. When I'm sick, I have no desire to go out and am quite comfortable staying in but as soon as the feel good bell rings, I'm ready to rush out the door. Of course, after I'm out for awhile, I start to get run down pretty quickly. Little doses at a time I find, works for me. -)
This has been on my mind all day and that is the support, love, care and prayers that everyone has given my family through this journey. I know I have a long way to go before it is finished but I'm so grateful!! Every time I think of all the blessings and prayers that have been sent up for us, it always brings tears to my eyes. If that isn't love, I guess I just don't know what love is......I just don't think it can get any better than that.
With Valentine's day approaching I thought about all the cards, flowers, gifts and dinners that will be on this day. How many of these will be bought or given without much thought but out of obligation because we take love for granted? We take love from God, our spouses, our children as an expection rather than an opportunity.
Love is there when everyone else has picked up and moved on. Love is multi-faceted but in its truest form it is committed when the turbulence comes. It holds you together and becomes stronger when faced with difficulties rather than weaker. Love learns to agree to disagree and never expects its way to always be right. Love tries harder when faced with complications. Love is not physical lust rather it sees the beauty of the person, inside out. Love is constant. Love is forever. We all make a choice to love. It is not something that happens to you rather it is you who make the choice to love and be loved.
I've felt so much love and support from my family, church family, work family, friends and those I've never met that I'm constantly wondering how I can return the thanks? I do find it easier to give than to receive and I guess that is what eats at me because without the prayer and support, honestly I don't know if I would have made it; but how do I give back?
So today is another day I want to say from the bottom of my heart, "thank you!!!!" It is inconceivable to think of the support our family has received. It has certainly taught me a valuable lesson in giving. It is very important not to get so busy that we have intentions of reaching out to others but find ourselves so busy that we forget. Sometimes someone's life could be on the line...I know mine has been. However, I find so much encouragement from the constant blog comments, words of encouragement, cards, etc. etc. that even in my times of agony; I'm always thinking of the support and prayers. On days I wake up with extreme pain and wish the day would go away, I always think of the support and prayers. I've never given up. I will not be denied of my healing or blessing. Other than God's protection, You all have been my life support.
Hope you enjoy the poem:
MY DEAR FRIEND (Philippians 1:3)
One day Christ came to my heart,
He told me to close my eyes,
He said He had something for me,
A wonderful, splendid surprise.
Wrapped up in a friendly smile,
Christ lay His gift in my hand.
I accepted it with a curious look,
I didn't quite understand.
I felt a soft nudge from the Lord, I didn't know what to do.
When I opened my eyes what was my gift?
My dear friend, it was YOU!
Love always,
Leah
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Well, I'm back....NO Hat and NO Chemo for me! Yeah!
Well, we went very early as we usually do to Emory for my 3 appts. I dread this day so much that I didn't even think about the hat. I get up the last possible minute. All night I did not sleep. I'm always restless. I guess knowing you've just gotten over being so sick and going back to have to do it all over again mentally challenges me. I know I have to do it so I always go in dressed in nice clothes and try to be upbeat as possible. It really does work too! Other people notice and it spreads. My lab nurses all know me and as soon as I go in they all start talking to me even though they are working on other patients. I told them that I was on my last treatments. They were so happy but sad because they say working on sick patients all day sometimes becomes very depressing and it is nice when someone comes in and is happy. I'm not necessarily happy to be there but I'm thankful that God gives me grace and mercy to do the things I'm assigned to do.
As I already stated, I always go to the Lab first for them to take my blood and hook up my lines for chemo and then off to the doctor (well, it isn't quite that fast but that is the order) ha.
As soon as my doctor walked in, she immediately came over and hugged me. I had not been out of the house since my last treatment and because of some of the side effects we had to call Emory a few times (not counting that I was sent to the ER too). She said that my body is so pure that everything has an extreme effect on me. She said that if I were a drinker that I would go through this without as much misery. She said a drinker has already killed their nerve receptors, therefore they do not feel the effects. She said it is almost scary when some of the drinkers come in and say, "bring it on". So I teased and said that Steve and I were immediately going to have a drink. ha. Not in a million years! YUK! It stinks and tastes horrible too! It is not my idea of a way to get through this. The Lord is doing a fine job. :-)
Steve and I stopped at Arby's and I got a salad. I was sick all evening and through the night so I'm not sure if the salad made me sick or I was still having effects from the chemo. It is very hard to decide what is what with chemo.
After they thought my esophagus was having spasms in the ER (which caused unbelievable pain....oh my), they decided to send me to a GI doctor to have a scope put down my throat. So, I have that doctor's appt. on Monday. So far through this journey, I have had my regular doctor (who initially referred me), 2 Colon Surgeons, 5 Resident Doctors, Spine Specialist, Oncology Doctor and now I'm going to see a GI specialist. I just decided through this journey that I wanted to see as many specialists as I could. I didn't want to leave any stone unturned. Ha. Whatever...I'm so over having to go to Medical facilities!!!
Oh, and they told me that as soon as my chemo was finished that they don't usually release the patient for a couple of months. What???? As soon as she said that.....she looked at me and said, "you looked shocked." Well, yes I thought I was going right back....so we are going to work it out and maybe start part-time or something like that but I have to ask my HR, my boss so on and so forth. Just pray I get it all worked out. My doctors are concerned about my body from all the chemo....and I'm thinking....let me out!! ha.
So after all the chatter about my effects, I asked my doctor if the chemo was going to make these things worse and she said, "You aren't going to have chemo today, your counts are too low and if we give chemo to you, we are afraid you might get a bacterial infection". They have told me numerous times if you have low counts and you get a bacterial infection, you have no resistance and there isn't anything they can do. So, although I'm sorta happy that I'm not going right back to get sick, it does put my schedule off another week. She did give me the option of getting an expensive shot but it causes unbelievable pain for at least a week and then I would be right back getting chemo on top of the pain. I would rather wait a week and let my body do what it should naturally.
So all in all, I'm very happy about feeling better. My last treatment was pretty intensive with pain but guess what......I made it through!! I was just talking to my brother and I told him that I know that I've made it this far by faith and all the prayers. I don't say this lightheartedly, as I know I say it everytime but it is because I know that it is holding me up. I need all the prayer I can get and I'm not ashamed to ask for it...it is the one thing I'll ask of others. Anything else, forget it...I would make a horrible salesperson. I do not like asking people for help, things, or otherwise. Although in a career management class a long time ago, they said I have a persuasive personality and I could make alot of money in sales. Go figure.....
Hope you enjoy the poem...Love to all, Leah
GOD'S BOXES
I have in my hands two boxes, Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box, And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes, Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day, The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black, I wanted to find out why, And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole, Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused, "I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said, "My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes, Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."
As I already stated, I always go to the Lab first for them to take my blood and hook up my lines for chemo and then off to the doctor (well, it isn't quite that fast but that is the order) ha.
As soon as my doctor walked in, she immediately came over and hugged me. I had not been out of the house since my last treatment and because of some of the side effects we had to call Emory a few times (not counting that I was sent to the ER too). She said that my body is so pure that everything has an extreme effect on me. She said that if I were a drinker that I would go through this without as much misery. She said a drinker has already killed their nerve receptors, therefore they do not feel the effects. She said it is almost scary when some of the drinkers come in and say, "bring it on". So I teased and said that Steve and I were immediately going to have a drink. ha. Not in a million years! YUK! It stinks and tastes horrible too! It is not my idea of a way to get through this. The Lord is doing a fine job. :-)
Steve and I stopped at Arby's and I got a salad. I was sick all evening and through the night so I'm not sure if the salad made me sick or I was still having effects from the chemo. It is very hard to decide what is what with chemo.
After they thought my esophagus was having spasms in the ER (which caused unbelievable pain....oh my), they decided to send me to a GI doctor to have a scope put down my throat. So, I have that doctor's appt. on Monday. So far through this journey, I have had my regular doctor (who initially referred me), 2 Colon Surgeons, 5 Resident Doctors, Spine Specialist, Oncology Doctor and now I'm going to see a GI specialist. I just decided through this journey that I wanted to see as many specialists as I could. I didn't want to leave any stone unturned. Ha. Whatever...I'm so over having to go to Medical facilities!!!
Oh, and they told me that as soon as my chemo was finished that they don't usually release the patient for a couple of months. What???? As soon as she said that.....she looked at me and said, "you looked shocked." Well, yes I thought I was going right back....so we are going to work it out and maybe start part-time or something like that but I have to ask my HR, my boss so on and so forth. Just pray I get it all worked out. My doctors are concerned about my body from all the chemo....and I'm thinking....let me out!! ha.
So after all the chatter about my effects, I asked my doctor if the chemo was going to make these things worse and she said, "You aren't going to have chemo today, your counts are too low and if we give chemo to you, we are afraid you might get a bacterial infection". They have told me numerous times if you have low counts and you get a bacterial infection, you have no resistance and there isn't anything they can do. So, although I'm sorta happy that I'm not going right back to get sick, it does put my schedule off another week. She did give me the option of getting an expensive shot but it causes unbelievable pain for at least a week and then I would be right back getting chemo on top of the pain. I would rather wait a week and let my body do what it should naturally.
So all in all, I'm very happy about feeling better. My last treatment was pretty intensive with pain but guess what......I made it through!! I was just talking to my brother and I told him that I know that I've made it this far by faith and all the prayers. I don't say this lightheartedly, as I know I say it everytime but it is because I know that it is holding me up. I need all the prayer I can get and I'm not ashamed to ask for it...it is the one thing I'll ask of others. Anything else, forget it...I would make a horrible salesperson. I do not like asking people for help, things, or otherwise. Although in a career management class a long time ago, they said I have a persuasive personality and I could make alot of money in sales. Go figure.....
Hope you enjoy the poem...Love to all, Leah
GOD'S BOXES
I have in my hands two boxes, Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box, And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes, Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day, The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black, I wanted to find out why, And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole, Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused, "I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said, "My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes, Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."
Monday, January 26, 2009
Lazy day but lots of laughter!!
Well, I did start night and day sweats. Go figure!! I can't ever get warm but I woke up with my body and hair wet. Doctor said it is probably just another side effect I hadn't experienced before....Yeah for me, I get to try all the effects so that way when I talk to others...I can really relate. :-) This really wasn't my plan but I learned at the beginning of this journey, it wasn't about MY way but HIS way. So my faith and trust is in HIM.
I layed around all day. I just feel like I can't get enough sleep these days. Lisa, my sister came over and somehow we started on funny shows, skits, etc. and we were both laughing. My sister is much wittier than I am and can tell a story so much better. I'm terrible at trying to tell a joke. I'm trying so hard to make sure that I get all the pieces in the joke by the time I get to the end...everyone just stares at me. Well, it was funny until I took so long trying to tell it. I just think it is a talent for some people. Have you ever met someone that can tell a joke that isn't funny but everyone is laughing? I'm always amazed at those people. My husband Steve is one of those people. He just doesn't show it much but I'm sure you've gotten a sampling by looking at the pictures throughout my chemo sessions.
Well, tomorrow will be my last day before I'm back for my treatment. I've been feeling like I might be getting earaches so I pray that I don't have anything and they can continue the treatments . I don't want to get off schedule. I just want to get them done!!! I'm excited at the thought but knowing how bad this last treatment was and the next (according to another cancer survivor) are like a tsunami hit you. She told me it was the worst she could have ever imagined to the point, she wanted to quit. So please say an extra prayer for these next 2 treatments.
I know a month of treatments doesn't sound like much to some until you are confined to your bed in extreme pain for a month. It seems like eternity.
I've come to enjoy my pjs so much, I'm not sure I'll be able to wear regular clothes to work. Maybe I'll show up the first day in my pjs and tell them that I want to make up for all the lost holidays I wasn't there. So the first holiday was Labor Day so I would wear red, white and blue pjs. Next comes Halloween, so I would wear fall colored pjs....on and on. ha. What a crazy thought! Mom, this time I'm not on my pain meds at the moment so you can't blame them for your brainless child. ha
Just a reminder to get your votes in so we can get these over to the Accounting firm to count. You only have one day left and this could be the start of your future as a judge. You just never know who is watching.
Love you all,
Leah
I layed around all day. I just feel like I can't get enough sleep these days. Lisa, my sister came over and somehow we started on funny shows, skits, etc. and we were both laughing. My sister is much wittier than I am and can tell a story so much better. I'm terrible at trying to tell a joke. I'm trying so hard to make sure that I get all the pieces in the joke by the time I get to the end...everyone just stares at me. Well, it was funny until I took so long trying to tell it. I just think it is a talent for some people. Have you ever met someone that can tell a joke that isn't funny but everyone is laughing? I'm always amazed at those people. My husband Steve is one of those people. He just doesn't show it much but I'm sure you've gotten a sampling by looking at the pictures throughout my chemo sessions.
Well, tomorrow will be my last day before I'm back for my treatment. I've been feeling like I might be getting earaches so I pray that I don't have anything and they can continue the treatments . I don't want to get off schedule. I just want to get them done!!! I'm excited at the thought but knowing how bad this last treatment was and the next (according to another cancer survivor) are like a tsunami hit you. She told me it was the worst she could have ever imagined to the point, she wanted to quit. So please say an extra prayer for these next 2 treatments.
I know a month of treatments doesn't sound like much to some until you are confined to your bed in extreme pain for a month. It seems like eternity.
I've come to enjoy my pjs so much, I'm not sure I'll be able to wear regular clothes to work. Maybe I'll show up the first day in my pjs and tell them that I want to make up for all the lost holidays I wasn't there. So the first holiday was Labor Day so I would wear red, white and blue pjs. Next comes Halloween, so I would wear fall colored pjs....on and on. ha. What a crazy thought! Mom, this time I'm not on my pain meds at the moment so you can't blame them for your brainless child. ha
Just a reminder to get your votes in so we can get these over to the Accounting firm to count. You only have one day left and this could be the start of your future as a judge. You just never know who is watching.
Love you all,
Leah
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sorry I couldn't blog today, I'm still trying to figure out which hat I should wear. ha.
I was feeling quite low until I found these amazing hats and thought by wearing these that my chemo day could be quite cheerful.However, I can only wear one and I just can't decide. The Christmas bow or the garden variety.....hmmmmmmmm, it is just too difficult to pick just one.
Please cast your votes as quickly as possible. It is 2 days until my debut. Many of you are probably jealous about not having a hat, such as mine but I promise I'll share! :-) This will probably be my chance to show that cancer can wrack havoc on your body but what sunshine we can share to others. Please cast your votes in my blog comments where Ernst and Young, Accounting Firm will count the votes and announce the winner!
Sincerely,
Leah
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The devil sees my future and he won't let me go!
I truly believe that as I've rounded the curve that the devil is mad because he hasn't gotten any victory through this journey and that he is doing everything he can to make it twice as hard on me.
I've had this unbelievable pain in my chest. It feels like I swallowed a pitchfork and the pitchfork is sideways in my chest. It hurts to eat or drink. The pain is totally unbearable.
Emory sent us to the ER and they thought it might an erosion of my esphogus. Well, it has continued to hurt with all the pains meds and medicine they put me on. Let me tell you, they put me on the granddaddy of all pain meds. It worked in my IV but didn't work at home......so again, I was in more pain than my body could tolerate.
I've continued with the pain and started running fever. My body temperature usually stays around 97.5 but it went up to 101, which is high for me. Emory wanted me to go to the ER again because of the pain and have a scope run down my throat. Well.....first of all, the scope idea I could have done without but they won't continue my chemo unless I get it done. The sorry part about it is that they want me to go to another hospital's ER because they can't get me in. It is a vicious cycle.
I've not gone back to the ER yet. Last night we were in a delimna around midnight whether we should go to the ER that late and just get it all over with. It was cold outside and in the Cobb Wellstar ER you are sitting right in fron of the doors. We decided to give me the pain meds and see if my fever would break. It did finally break about 4 a.m........but (you always know this is the good part) the pain in my chest, which feels like a pitchfork has not gone away.
I still can't eat or drink with it without unbelievable pain. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with my port-a-catheter. The line to my artery goes to the same area. The hospital did a chest x-ray and a CT scan and didn't say anything so we are thinking it isn't that. Emory said they haven't had anyone with this sort of pain so they are shooting in the dark, therefore they want me to have the scope. For some reason, going to a hospital that I really don't like with ER people who don't know you and having a scope run down your throat somehow just doesn't get it for me!! As I always say, I'm not afraid of the outcome, I just hate the process!
However, I want the pain to go away too so I know we have to do something, as this is my chemo week....Yeah for me....then I will only 1 treatment to go. I feel like we are on the first one trying to figure out what meds to take for what sympton, etc. It is very frustrating!!!
I have to believe that Satan thinks he has our back against the wall and we are going to cower down! I guess he doesn't know me or the ARMY of people that are praying for me and that this will only challenge me to pray more and therefore he is useless.
Mom, Dad, the girls and Tim all prayed for me the other night when my fever kept going up and I began to feel really bad. I know God was watching over me because 2 nights in a row, I woke up and was sweating through my clothes. Everyone knows how cold blooded I am. Well, I knew that my fever had broken. It keeps trying to creep up but I'm taking pain meds so it gets back under control but I know it is an indicator of some sort of infection. I really don't have a primary doctor in my area, which I need to get because I could call them and ask them questions about sickness, etc. Any suggestions from anyone in the area, let me know.
So tonight my prayer request is that I keep my fever under control and the pain in my chest goes away so I don't have to go to the ER to have a scope run down my throat. The thought of it....is more than I want to think of. I know to some it will sound minor, however for me, it is major....I have to mentally wrap my brain around another procedure....especially being soooooo claustrophobic.
Other than that, I continued to enjoy my time in my chair. My parents came and visited. Mom stayed 2 days because she thought we might be going to the hospital. My sister came and warmed some soup up for me. My bro and sis-in-law fixed us a pot roast. :-) Such are the days....however, I choose life! I was teasing my sister in law and told her that the doctor's prognosis was that I had eaten too much pot roast. ha. She knows I could eat very little but it was still funny.
Hopefully I have the strength to make it to Sunday school in the morning . :-0 If not, God will nourish us through the DVDs of every service made by our awesome video team.
Well, I just took more pain medicine and my dog is spread out in my chair. I need to go and get settled before I start drifting away.....wahoo! I will celebrate the day I don't have to take anything
I've had this unbelievable pain in my chest. It feels like I swallowed a pitchfork and the pitchfork is sideways in my chest. It hurts to eat or drink. The pain is totally unbearable.
Emory sent us to the ER and they thought it might an erosion of my esphogus. Well, it has continued to hurt with all the pains meds and medicine they put me on. Let me tell you, they put me on the granddaddy of all pain meds. It worked in my IV but didn't work at home......so again, I was in more pain than my body could tolerate.
I've continued with the pain and started running fever. My body temperature usually stays around 97.5 but it went up to 101, which is high for me. Emory wanted me to go to the ER again because of the pain and have a scope run down my throat. Well.....first of all, the scope idea I could have done without but they won't continue my chemo unless I get it done. The sorry part about it is that they want me to go to another hospital's ER because they can't get me in. It is a vicious cycle.
I've not gone back to the ER yet. Last night we were in a delimna around midnight whether we should go to the ER that late and just get it all over with. It was cold outside and in the Cobb Wellstar ER you are sitting right in fron of the doors. We decided to give me the pain meds and see if my fever would break. It did finally break about 4 a.m........but (you always know this is the good part) the pain in my chest, which feels like a pitchfork has not gone away.
I still can't eat or drink with it without unbelievable pain. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with my port-a-catheter. The line to my artery goes to the same area. The hospital did a chest x-ray and a CT scan and didn't say anything so we are thinking it isn't that. Emory said they haven't had anyone with this sort of pain so they are shooting in the dark, therefore they want me to have the scope. For some reason, going to a hospital that I really don't like with ER people who don't know you and having a scope run down your throat somehow just doesn't get it for me!! As I always say, I'm not afraid of the outcome, I just hate the process!
However, I want the pain to go away too so I know we have to do something, as this is my chemo week....Yeah for me....then I will only 1 treatment to go. I feel like we are on the first one trying to figure out what meds to take for what sympton, etc. It is very frustrating!!!
I have to believe that Satan thinks he has our back against the wall and we are going to cower down! I guess he doesn't know me or the ARMY of people that are praying for me and that this will only challenge me to pray more and therefore he is useless.
Mom, Dad, the girls and Tim all prayed for me the other night when my fever kept going up and I began to feel really bad. I know God was watching over me because 2 nights in a row, I woke up and was sweating through my clothes. Everyone knows how cold blooded I am. Well, I knew that my fever had broken. It keeps trying to creep up but I'm taking pain meds so it gets back under control but I know it is an indicator of some sort of infection. I really don't have a primary doctor in my area, which I need to get because I could call them and ask them questions about sickness, etc. Any suggestions from anyone in the area, let me know.
So tonight my prayer request is that I keep my fever under control and the pain in my chest goes away so I don't have to go to the ER to have a scope run down my throat. The thought of it....is more than I want to think of. I know to some it will sound minor, however for me, it is major....I have to mentally wrap my brain around another procedure....especially being soooooo claustrophobic.
Other than that, I continued to enjoy my time in my chair. My parents came and visited. Mom stayed 2 days because she thought we might be going to the hospital. My sister came and warmed some soup up for me. My bro and sis-in-law fixed us a pot roast. :-) Such are the days....however, I choose life! I was teasing my sister in law and told her that the doctor's prognosis was that I had eaten too much pot roast. ha. She knows I could eat very little but it was still funny.
Hopefully I have the strength to make it to Sunday school in the morning . :-0 If not, God will nourish us through the DVDs of every service made by our awesome video team.
Well, I just took more pain medicine and my dog is spread out in my chair. I need to go and get settled before I start drifting away.....wahoo! I will celebrate the day I don't have to take anything
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